How to be a happy family
July 2023
How to be a Happy Family
Archana Singhal shares insights on dealing with family stress
“
Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet with lots of nuts.”
In a family, we share everything together:
from love to that last piece of dessert. We share good times and also give each other a shoulder to cry on during bad times. Our
family celebrates our success and doesn’t let us lose hope when we fail. But it doesn’t mean that there are only happy times with family
members. There will be times when we will be at each other’s throats. There will be times
when they are the last person you would want to see. During vacations, there will be times when they will become too much
to handle, or during family functions, that annoying aunty will not stop asking you about
your marriage plans or your grades.
Don’t take work related stress home for a happier life
During bad grades, unexpected illnesses, finan cial issues, or arguments, things get tough, and it starts affecting you mentally. Family can be a stress-buster, but at the same time, the biggest cause of stress.
Here are a few ways for you to deal with stress when it comes to family:
• Don’t take work stress home: Don’t inflict your work-related stress on your kids and partner. Yes, the work gets stressful, but taking out your frustration on your family is not a solution. You will be doing more harm in the long run.
• Divide household chores: Tasks such as sweeping, cooking, grocery shopping, and washing dishes should be equally divided amongst family members. If everyone con
tributes in one way or another, no one will 16 LifePositive | JULY 2023
feel they are being left out or they have too much pressure.
• Always have dinner with the family: “A family that eats together stays together.” Eating with the family will provide you with more time to communicate with each other. This will build your relationship im
mensely as you will share more with them and will find out more about each other.
• Have a ‘family time’: Try to spend week ends together by going out for a picnic or just to the grocery store nearby. Perhaps you can play board games, cook together, or even just do some fun artsy stuff. You don’t have to make elaborate plans like out-of station trips or visits to amusement parks. Just having a small get-together will help in keeping the communication channels open and will allow you to bond.
• Communicate with your family: You spend most of your life with your family. Nobody knows them better than you. Therefore, whenever you feel like they are acting dif
ferently, they are hiding something from you, or are just not being themselves, ask them! Just asking them will make them re alise that you are there for them. You are available to talk.
If you are a parent, sometimes parenting be comes very stressful. Therefore, to manage stress, here are a few stress management tech niques:
• Adjust your priorities and standards: If you will start prioritising things and will keep achievable standards you will be able to manage things more easily and with less stress.
• Don’t undertake unnecessary duties.
• Practice meditation and relaxation tech niques: Practice meditation, yoga, or do
whatever helps you to relax. It will keep your mind peaceful, and you will be able to have a breather from daily life.
• Accept help: If you feel you are overworked or you are not able to give time to yourself, then accept help from someone if you can. For instance, hire a babysitter. There is no harm in asking for help.
• Take advice: Take advice from people you trust. If you are not able to understand things or are confused, ask someone who you feel will help you.
• Take care of yourself: If you are not healthy mentally and physically, then you can’t take care of your kids. So, give time to yourself.
• Plan things ahead of time: It’s always good to have a plan. It will prevent you from last-minute hassles.
• Spend time with children: Take out time for your children and talk to them about school or if something is bothering them.
During bad grades, unexpected illnesses, fi nancial issues, or arguments, things get tough, and it starts affecting you mentally. Family can
be a stress-buster, but at the same time, the biggest cause of stress.
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Even for kids, growing up with a family gets stressful. Therefore, for kids and teenagers, here are a few stress management techniques:
• Do at least one physical exercise every day: Engaging yourself physically gives you less time to think about other things.
• Eat healthy food: Consume nutritious food like protein and vegetables, and you will feel less tired.
• Stick to a daily routine: This way, you will be engaged all the time.
• Get enough sleep: Sleep well because sleep deprivation tends to cause irritation and tiredness.
No matter what’s going on and who is troubling you, communication is the key. So communi cate with your family members instead of cut ting them out of your life. There is always a way.
If you feel like nothing is working and things are going out of hand, then reach out to a fami ly counsellor. They will help you develop com munication skills and find solutions you are unable to arrive at on your own.
Counsellor and family therapist, Archana Singhal is the founder of Mindwell Counsel, and a member of the Counsellors Council of India and WICCI, NPWC
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