In Gods time
September 2010
By Julia Dutta
There is a sense of calmness and a deep silence, when we surrender to the almighty
Two relationships have matured, and I feel the need for them to move to the next level. Both are marred by characteristics which are indicative of relationships that have completed the full circle, and either need to move on to the next level, or simply die out. Friction and tension arise, when we interact or lie dormant, pregnant with the next set of volcanic reactions brewing inside. Stone-like silences, between lovers or partners, do not indicate that there is peace. In fact, the contrary is true.
There is birth, and there is death. A cycle of events operates in all, giving birth, a lifetime, and death. So it is with human relationships. We meet and give birth to a relationship, we work on it, and let it live its lifetime, but we are stuck there. We are never able to let go of a relationship, when its lifetime is over.
Let us rest a few moments on what I said last.
Julia Dutta is a seeker, a writer and a poet.
She lives and works in Delhi Relations are born, out of our need to fulfil certain desires within us. When those needs are fulfilled, other needs come up, which need to be fulfilled too. Either, these must be fulfilled by the same persons, or we have to find new avenues, which will help us meet the needs of those desires.
To my mind, there is yet another reason why relationships develop. Maybe, there is something that we need to complete with the other some unfinished business from the past? Indeed, in my life, this is one reason that keeps coming up, repeatedly, when I think back on these relationships in the past. So, I apply the same formula here in the present one as well, and I can see clearly that the reason for coming together is over, and now we must move on to the next level, or drop out of the play.
Sadly, it is more easily said than done. No amount of self-analysis helps. None of the principles you use in other areas of your life, can be applied here successfully. Thus, the more one tries, the more one is struck by failure.
In God's time unless He desires, not even a leaf on a tree will move, nor will flowers lace the lemon tree, waiting to be weighed down by lemons. In God's time, our desires arise, and in God's time, the mix and match happens. It is His timing and His reasons, why things happen. It stands to reason that only in His time He will do or undo what He has made to happen. Therefore, in God's time, these strange trajectories of life must end or take their new forms. We may believe that we are the directors of our own film, but that is only partially true, for if He does not infuse the power in our will to do something, we will not even have the notion to do it.
Does this make me a hardcore believer? I don't think that is the natural corollary I am leading my reader to. All I want to say is that the more I try, the more I am beginning to accept that there is a force behind all that takes place in my life and that I might just at best accept it, without putting up a fight, or trying to make things happen at any time.
In the meantime, I am led to lives that illuminate the word surrender. A dear friend and spiritual mentor, on the one hand, lives a prayerful life totally surrendered to the Lord. On the other, a friend's mother is slowly passing away, her body ravaged by a dreadful disease. There is a sense of quiet surrender and a deep silence in and around her, so utterly consuming, that all questions end, and I too rest in sweet surrender, waiting, waiting, like a pebble in his palm.
Still, like a pebble in his palm, waiting and knowing in my heart that without his desire, not even a leaf on a tree will move or flowers lace the lemon tree. Nor do I ever know the direction my relationships will take.
In God's time, all will happen as he wills.
This article is dedicated to the author's dear friend June Valladares, whose words and life have inspired this piece.