Is your God good?
August 2010
Everything in our life is shaped by our beliefs. So what is your belief about God?
 Megha bajaj is above everything else a seaker. At time she tries to find herself through words. At other times, she attempts to understand herself by being with childern. contact:megha83@hotmail.com |
I am a Marwari girl (who hates cooking) married to a Telugu boy (who loves and lives to eat). Thankfully, Mala comes home with the sunrise and takes care of breakfast and lunch, and Sangeeta in the evenings for snacks and dinner.
While both Mala and Sangeeta are excellent cooks, interaction with Mala would bring a happy smile on my face, whereas Sangeeta would wipe any trace of a smile from my face within moments. Why, I wondered?
Mala told me she was a happy-go-lucky girl who had always managed to turn situations in her favour. Her husband, who was an alcoholic, has now become a teetotaler holding the prestigious job of a driver to the CEO of a company. She had managed to buy a small house by saving wisely. Her children were studying in good schools and she believed life would only get better for them. Sangeeta, on the other hand, told me that nothing in life ever went her way. Her husband who had a good job until before marriage, now sat at home and watched TV all day. She had no children even though she had been trying for years. And, she confessed with tears that she believed she would lose her job and be on the roads soon.
I was stunned by this discovery. Life follows our beliefs. Mala believed everything would be fine, and it was. Sangeeta believed nothing would be fine, and it wasn’t. Moreover, so powerful were their beliefs that they even affected the way I, a third person, treated them.
I saw that everything in my life was shaped by my beliefs. Seeing my parents share a more or less happy relationship, I subconsciously believed I too would have a good marriage, and I do. Seeing my mom suffer from a lot of aches and pains in her body, I believed I too would never enjoy perfect health, and I didn’t. Having been told by my dad repeatedly that I was a very intelligent girl – I believed this even while I battled with Maths and scored poorly in some exams. Having been told by my uncle repeatedly that I didn’t look good because I was dark, for years I believed this and avoided the mirror.
As I introspected deeply I realised our beliefs are, every moment, shaping our life. I asked myself some crucial questions, and one among them was, is my God good? Because, if I truly believed this, my predominant emotion in every situation would be love and acceptance and not fear and resistance. Because, if I truly believed this, I would never feel emotionally abandoned by Him, as I often do. Because, if I really believed it, I would pray not to ask, but to give my thanks to the Creator. I recognised that my fundamental belief about God itself was not in place.
I am right now in the process of deep contemplation this entire month where I am going to write all my beliefs on a piece of paper. Personal, inter-personal, professional, spiritual – every one of them. I want to springclean not my house, but my beliefs.