Journey
From head to heart
Shivi Verma shares the lesson that love transcends all differences albeit, in trying situations, you have to give it all you’ve got to live by this credo
Recently, I had the good fortune of attending my high school reunion function in my hometown, Gorakhpur. Most of us were meeting each other after a gap of 25 long years. And we were a sight to look at.
From young, sleek, and nimble teenagers aching to leave our mark in the world, we had transformed into middle-aged men and women who had gone through a lot and seen the various shades of life.
It was heartening to hear each other’s stories as we shared our life journey, turning points, trials, tribulations, and victories. None of us could prevent ourselves from commenting on how much we had changed over the years physically (although most were diplomatic enough to say that the girls had not).
But, for me, it was a time to see how much I had changed internally as a person over the years.
While studying with them in the same class, I had hardly noticed the beauty each one of them possessed. I had bracketed them as brilliant, selfish, mischievous, stupid, lazy, witty, restless, and so on.
I had judged them and been judged by them in return and not cared how much love and innocence I was surrounded with at that time. I had been harsh with the boys who had developed a crush on me and had not treated them with respect (probably because I did not know how to handle their attention at that age).
But now, years later, having experienced many of life’s roller coasters, I had matured enough to appreciate them and see them as they truly were—different people with different characteristics, talents, abilities, likes, and dislikes. No one was supposed to match up to a certain ideal of perfection, and each one was unique and special in their own way. To me, all that mattered was how I treated and behaved with them instead of how they treated me. Undoubtedly, I received plenty of love and affection from everyone in that meeting.
This is one of the important lessons that I have learnt in life: to go beyond the facades of beliefs, quirks, habits, propensities and see that all of us inherently and essentially are love and respond beautifully to loving and respectful treatment.
This has become a mantra for me and comes in handy whenever I have to relate with people anywhere in this world.
This has also become a test of sorts for me. It is easy to see love when you are being treated with love and respect by the other party. But the real test is to continue to see the underlying love even when someone is being rude, hurtful, and aggressive with you. And even though you can control your retort because you can understand the place your detractor is coming from, it is still not easy to overcome the sense of hurt. It is easy to love people from a distance but not when they are living close to you with all their quirks and imperfections. It is easy to have people in your life by compromising on truth and self-respect but not easy to love yourself unconditionally and stand by your truth when the people you love threaten to leave you. This life is a journey from head to heart and the more you are tuned in to your heart, the simpler life becomes.
Editor of Life Positive, Shivi Verma is a devotee who found all her answers in loving God passionately.
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