Swami Mukundananda encourages
us to remain true to ourselves and turn a
Nelson’s eye to what others think or say
about us
We spend too much thought and
energy trying to gain the approval of others.
While making decisions, ‘What will others
think’ remains a dominant thought in the
mind. Instead of running our own race in life,
we get bogged down in pleasing others. This
must change.
You can never please everyone
No matter what you do, there will always be
those who will find fault, discourage, and
dislike you. That is the nature of worldly
people.
Even Mother Sita was not spared of it. Though
she had proved her chastity beyond all doubt
through a trial by fire, a dhobi (washerman)
emerged who cast aspersions on her and said to
his wife, ‘I am not like Ram who brought Sita
home after she had stayed in Ravan’s Lanka
for a year.’ When the Mother of the universe
could not be free from detractors in the era of
Lord Ram, then it is unrealistic for us to expect
everyone’s approval in today’s environment of
You can never please everyone
hypocrisy.
Sharing 59
As the expression goes, it takes all sorts to make this world. Others just cannot handle your success because it makes them look bad. For their own peace of mind, they love tearing you down.
Therefore, never be surprised if, even after doing good, you still receive caustic censure. If you receive the promotion you deserved, do not expect a standing ovation from everyone around you. Be prepared to hear comments like, “She butters up her boss” or “His rise is all because of office politics,” and so on. In fact, the more successful you are, the more criticism will come your way. Do not let the ‘gossip police’ sabotage your flight to glory.
Remember, it is not about you
People have their own conflicts and emotional issues that need resolution. They carry anger, frustration, and disappointment in them. They look for places to dump their baggage. If you allow them, they will empty their garbage onto you. Their negativity is not about you; it is just the way they are. If you consider their approval important, very soon, they will start controlling and manipulating you.
What is the key to handling negativity? Remember this bit of wisdom—nobody can hurt you unless you allow them to. Here is an anecdote highlighting this principle:
• In an institute for the hearing and speaking impaired, two inmates had a serious tiff. An official was assigned to straighten out things between them. On reaching their section, the official found one of the men with his back to the other, chuckling with amusement, while the other was gesturing frantically.
• “What is going on here?” said the official,
speaking with his hands. “Why is your partner so annoyed?”
• The deaf person gestured with glee, “We had a fight. Now he wants to swear at me, but I refuse to look in his direction. That is why he is so mad.”
The deaf man was taking advantage of the fact that he could not hear. Hence, the other could only vent fury if he looked towards him. In our case, we will have to learn how to turn a deaf ear to the noise around us. Deal with it by growing in awareness. When you know someone is physically handicapped, it evokes your sympathy. Likewise, with a negative person, feel compassion rather than hurt by not taking it personally. One way to do this is to count your blessings and think, God is sitting inside the other person too. He is testing my tolerance in an attempt to push me to grow.
What others say does not define you People who barely know you feel they have the right to pass judegment on your worth. But as the saying goes, you cannot judge a book by its cover. Factually, what others say characterises them, not you.
Do also bear in mind that all the praise you receive will come to naught upon death. You leave it all behind and move on to the afterlife. At that time, the only thing of importance will be the extent to which God was pleased by your life and work. So, focus on being good in the eyes of the Lord who is the constant witness to your karma.
Gain wisdom on all aspects of life by world-renowned Spiritual Leader, Swami Mukundananda, in his latest book, Golden Rules for Living Your Best Life, published by Rupa Publications India.
H H Swami Mukundananda—a yogi, a world-renowned spiritual teacher, an authority on mind management, an IIT and IIM alumnus, and a bhakti saint—is the founder of JKYog. He is the author of several books: Science of Mind Management | Bhagavad Gita: The 0
Song of God.
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