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Love Conquers
Trust in the Divine and reconnect with the heart to emerge victorious, says Sarita Mathur, after learning her life lessons post a devastating ordeal 

I was a Reiki master and was also conducting courses in emotional intelligence for approximately ten years. Moreover, I was a happy wife and mother, living and appreciating the wonderful life I lived. My answer to the question “How are you?” was always “Great” or “Enjoying life.”

After a wonderful trip to India, we came back to Durban, South Africa. My husband and I went back to weekly walks at the beachfront, to enjoy the Indian Ocean—shades of blue and green. On one of the walks, I suddenly tripped and almost fell, only to pull myself up again. However, it was not so simple and proved to be life-changing. Before I knew it, I could barely walk and had to keep resting after every few minutes. The pain was terrible. Within a few weeks, the pain went from bad to worse and was unbearable. It turned out that I had a slipped disc. I was not keen to take painkillers and tried to convince myself that the pain was temporary.

Some years ago, in London, I had fallen down a flight of steps. I went “aah, aah” and once again “aah,” immediately feeling much better. These healing sounds are nature’s pharmacy: it is natural healing through sound therapy. Very few people realise that vowels are healing sounds, and a, e, i, o, u help to relieve stress and pain. Babies are natural healers and cry whenever they need anything, be it food, milk, or a change of clothes. Adults too make use of nature’s pharmacy, and a good bout of tears makes one feel better.

However, this time, the pain in my back would not go away. Eventually, I had to have a back operation. The operation was a success as my back was absolutely fine. However, due to the effect of the drugs and anaesthesia on my brain, I woke up in a deep depression. My first thought was about how my soul could escape my body and reach the world of spirit. In despair, I pressed the alarm bell next to my bed. I told the nurse to tell my parents and my husband that I needed help. I was suicidal!!! How could a simple back operation do this to me? I felt forsaken by God, the divine spirit. 

The fight with depression

However, hope was at hand. As soon as I was able to, I went to see a psychiatrist. She told my family that I had had a brain attack (stroke) and they must be compassionate to me as it was not my fault. I was on medication for a year, and during this time, I also did reiki healing and visualization techniques. I would paint mandalas and abstract drawings on pieces of paper. This was very therapeutic, and I even started a journal in which I would write and paint. My progress was immediate, and very soon, I gave up on all prescription drugs and never ever had to see a therapist again. This, I attribute to both allopathic medication plus my faith in the divine energy, God, and hands on energy healing. Family and friends were supportive in my journey towards recovery.

I realised that God is always with you, ready to support you. When victory is at its lowest, it is always waiting to peak again. One always needs to have faith and get out of the ‘victim’ mentality. “Why me?” is not the question one must ask. What indeed is life without strife? The guilt is terrible, for when you are once again reconnected with your heart, you feel that you created anguish for so many people: mainly those nearest and dearest to you. However, it is not your fault and never has been. One must forgive oneself and move on. You can always survive and come back to life’s central emotion—love. You can heal completely and live life joyfully.

Important lessons

After this ordeal, the question arose: “Had the back operation touched my root chakra and the kundalini energy?” It is said that if the kundalini energy at the base of the spine gets touched and then gets stuck in the spine, the soul wants to break free. Maybe, that is the reason for the deep depression I encountered, as the kundalini energy got stuck in its upward motion and did not reach the crown chakra.

My journey taught me several lessons:

• We live life in an inverted ‘V,’ knowing that we can always be at the top of thoughts and emotions. However, we are still human beings in a spiritual world, so we must not be too harsh on ourselves.

• I learnt that I must never be a victim and have to take responsibility for my own actions and my situation in life.

• I must never be judgemental, as often there are circumstances beyond our control which make people behave the way they do.

• Moreover, and most importantly, I realised that I was not the wonderfully nice person I thought I was. Often, I did things which I did not really want to do but did them to please people. That, in turn, made me resentful. So, this journey taught me to believe in myself and always be authentic. 

• God never gives you more than you can handle. You can always overcome life’s challenges and come back to the central emotion—unconditional love.