Love transforms you
May 2009
By Megha Bajaj
When you develop love in your heart for people not easy to like, your life is transformed.
It is so easy to love some people. In my life, such a person came in the form of my guru. I felt purified by loving him and being loved by him.
Generally, whenever I got close to someone, I found myself distanced from others. However, my guru’s love created such a sacred space within me that I found myself getting more intimate with my loved ones: mom, dad, my sister, and my husband. The more I loved, the better I felt. The better I felt, the more I loved.
I soon started feeling that I did not need to know persons to love them. I started going to an orphanage for a few hours each week. Often the children would huddle close to me, as a litter of puppies would to find warmth, and some would inadvertently fall asleep on my lap. I would look at their faces, and wonder if I could ever experience a love deeper than that.
Love, like life, has an uncanny way of surprising one who thinks she has it all. I have a colleague who has tried, in every possible way, to pull me down. Once a few of us were having lunch, and she offered her food to everyone except me. I remember feeling so humiliated that in spite of my best efforts, a few tears trickled down my cheeks. On one such day as I sat in meditation, a realisation unfolded. It is easy to love lovable people; it is also easy to love a person I do not know because there are no strings attached; however, can I take a step forward and love someone who detests me?
The next day when I went to work, I saw my colleague gossiping in a corner. Generally, this would irritate me, but that day I told her in my mind, ‘I love you so much.’ Whenever our paths would cross, in my mind I would express my love to her. At first, it seemed unnatural and forced, but after a week, I actually started feeling the love. It came to a point where she came to my desk for something and I could not help myself – I got up, hugged her, looked into her eyes, and said, “I really love you.” She froze, as if slapped. Then, in the corner of her eye, I saw a tiny glistening tear.
Words would not do justice to my experience then. All I can say is that it was a very purifying experience. Of all the people I have loved – I felt loving her transformed me as nothing else had. I am right now in the process of diving into my memory and loving all those who may have caused me pain. I do not know if it will make a difference to them, but I know it will transform me. I will emerge as a lover who loves purely for love’s sake. Moreover, what love could be purer than that? I am excited to find out…
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