Make a choice!
Megha Bajaj realises that we always have the choice of making a choice instead of gulping down whatever unpleasantness life throws at us
We are constantly drawn to some homes in particular for certain reasons. Could be the love we feel there, the laughter that the family shares, the non-judgmental environment, or the relaxing ambience. People are constantly drawn to my home because of Mitlesh. Yes, you read it right. Mitlesh. He is our Maharaj (cook) and has been with the family for over twenty-five years. His gatte ki sabzi and aloo da saag are not just famous in India but the world over.
However, of late, I have been at loggerheads with him every morning. He has been consistently making dishes that I don’t like. I have been eating them half-heartedly, and finally, one morning, I asked him, “Why are you constantly making these dishes? I just don’t like it! Make something else, Mitlesh.” He gave me this matter-of-fact look and said, “Megha, if you don’t tell me what you want, I will make what others want. If you want something, make a choice and ask for it. Else you will have to eat others’ choice.” Of course, he said this in his own way, but this was the essence of it.
As I was eating—the spoon midway between my plate and mouth—I stopped. Gosh! The man had revealed a truth of life which I needed. I just left the spoon, sat with my feet crossed at the dining table, and closed my eyes as all these thoughts poured in. I realised that so often, I was complaining about consequences handed over to me—because I was not making a choice! I was living others’ choices, and this disgruntled me. What was the simple solution? Make a choice!
So many of us keep complaining about our jobs. Has someone used Fevicol to glue us to the seat at our workplace? What is stopping us from changing our job? Or starting something of our own? Most of the time, we will realise we are cribbing and just putting up with it, whereas we are just one choice away from a change. Make a choice!
We feel stuck in certain relationships. Stifled. Not knowing the way out. Once again, this could be because we are living others’ choices. No matter who the person before us is, we still have three choices: First, to express how we feel and let the other know what our expectations are. Second, learn to accept that this is the relationship we are in and nothing can be done about it. And enjoy it for what it is! Third, in drastic situations, leave the relationship if that is the only way to restore peace. Point is, we have a choice—to not suffer. Make a choice!
Of course, there is fear involved. We want to make certain choices, but we anxiously wonder, “What if it is not the right one!” And yet, not making a choice is also a choice, and in this case, we become victim to others’ choices. Life has made us into thinking, seeking people who can make their own choices. So why should we not use this incredible faculty? Make a choice!
I love the way my spiritual mentor phrases it. He asks, “Are you a choice-maker or a consequence-receiver?” I realised I was complaining because I was the latter in this particular situation. If I do not tell Mitlesh what I want, he will make what others want. It was so simple. And so profound. I realise many of us go through struggles because we simply aren’t sitting up and making a choice.
Just three words! And yet they could change the direction of your life forever. Do it right now. Make a choice!
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