Money and relationshipss
Be prudent as well as humane when dealing with people about money as it is something which can make or break relationships, says Shivi Verma
We need, crave, and love money. But we also love harmony and good relationships with others. Have you seen how often both of these clash? No sooner money gets involved in relationships than the situation becomes either fragile or volatile if not handled with extreme care, sincerity, and honesty. There are cases galore of children, siblings, or friends betraying their loved ones for money. Property and inheritance issues have driven a wedge between families and blood ties. In extreme cases, even lives have been lost over money. Hearts get broken, faith gets destroyed, disappointment and bitterness sets in, and relationships get fractured forever if money issues are not dealt with wisely and with integrity. So then, how do we walk the treacherous terrain of money and relationships?
Let’s accept that, barring our children, we are circumspect in spending money on others. We want others to be financially independent and not come to us asking for a loan. We want our hard-earned money to work for us and take care of our needs and priorities. However, in this world which works on exchanges of all kinds, money too is a currency of exchange. We all have faced times when we have needed more money than we have and have had to approach friends, moneylenders, or family members for assistance. In those times, anybody who has come forward to bail us out of that tricky situation has been nothing less than an angel for us. Therefore, it doesn’t behove us to reject a call for financial help outright if someone is genuinely needy.
However, none of us want to burn our hands doing a good deed. So, before extending this help, it’s best to check the background of the borrower. Is their past conduct honest, upright, and virtuous? Is their reputation clean and trustworthy? Are they known for keeping their word? If yes, please help them. But if you feel that your loan will be wasted and not put to good use, it’s best to make an excuse and not give in to emotional manipulation. Sometimes, praying for the person or suggesting a business idea works better than offering direct financial aid. This will save your relationship with them.
Listen to your intuition and act accordingly.
And lastly, give without expectations. Even if you are sure of a relative’s intentions to return the loan, it’s not necessary that it would happen. There are no guarantees in life. So when you give, give with the thought that it might not come back, and do not hold it against the borrower. It can save you a lot of heartache. Just take it as a lesson to be more cautious in the future.
Money does show the real character of people. It shows who cares for us and who is just out there to use us. It sieves out the wheat from the chaff. It tells us to be wiser in our dealings with people. It makes us more judicious in our judgement of people.
Despite all this, the best use of money is to keep some of it aside to help others selflessly. Money can get us comforts and peace of mind, but when it is employed to help those in need, it begins to give us happiness as well.
Editor of Life Positive, Shivi Verma is a devotee who found all her answers in loving God passionately.
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