One is company
Your relationship with yourself defines those with others and Life, finds Megha Bajaj
My beloved guru, Mahatria, says, “All of Life hinges on three relationships—your relationship with yourself, with others, and with God.” But there is so much time and energy given to the one with others that the first one—the most intimate one with ourselves—often gets starved.
If you are someone who constantly feels people don’t love you enough, the space you need to revisit is the one within, with yourself. Is it that you don’t love yourself enough? If you are someone who feels ever grateful to people around you, feeling at one with every life that crosses yours, the chances are that you have simply got your relationship with yourself, the most important relationship, absolutely right. Speaking of me, I have experienced both ends of the spectrum, and I am now thankfully, deeply, and comfortably anchored in the latter.
I always felt there was too much love around me. That was not the problem. However, somewhere I felt people didn’t understand me. I felt I was different, unique, and often misunderstood. I felt that the depth of what I am, or my experience, was not getting effectively communicated, and this did cause struggle in my relationships, especially with people closest to me. I often wished they could go within me and see my intent and not judge the words or actions. And since this issue cropped up with quite a few people, I realised the source lay with me.
That’s when I started dwelling deep within and realised it wasn’t about the other but about me. I had bought into this self-belief that people weren’t understanding me, which wasn’t true. In fact, I was expecting to be misunderstood, and therefore I was. As I went even deeper, I realised it was I who wasn’t fully understanding myself and even the other.
As I started talking to myself, I realised that the world, a mere reflection of me, started responding favourably. Situations where people had misunderstood me started falling apart, and I experienced more understanding from everyone. A friend of mine reiterated this when she said “I always felt people were too harsh towards me, only to realise it was I who was too harsh on myself. As I grew in self-love, the harshness from the world simply ceased.”
And another shared, “I always find myself with beautiful people, possibly because I am wearing the spectacles of beauty, and I feel so beautiful within that I can’t help but attract more of it.”
What we feel at the core about ourselves is what we see reflected in all our relationships. Immense self-love, self-care, self-forgiveness, and sharing a beautiful, intimate relationship with yourself will simply reflect in the world outside. It has no choice but to.
How do you feel about yourself, with no mobile, no TV, no person around you, no activity to indulge in or chores to busy yourself with? Are you at peace or restless? Do you feel love or animosity? Do you feel happy or depressed? Here is the tough question: Who are you when you are alone? That defines the quality of your relationships with others, and in so many ways, Life itself.
I love being with the world. I also love being with myself. For hours I find myself revelling in love with myself. Nothing to add, nothing to subtract—just this overflowing feeling of bliss, love, and peace. No wonder, Life is becoming a game, an adventure, something to look forward to, every single moment.
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