Peace amidst Despair
October 2024
HEARTSPEAK
Peace Amidst Despair
In his hour of grief, as Rajeev Hallur connects with the Source of all peace within him. He feels glad to have had the opportunity to discover his mettle
There are landmark events in your life that shape you and change you in ways you can never imagine. Sometimes, these events also reveal a new you, who hitherto lay hidden beneath layers of superficial knowledge and conditioning. This happened to me in March 2015, in faraway Siberia. I always thought of myself as timid till then, but I discovered a strong steely me as some bizarre events unfolded.
I was to visit a client, an oil and gas conglomerate, to sign a contract to begin our first project in Russia. It made for an exciting prospect as the project, although technically familiar, was to be executed in totally alien circumstances. As I was preparing for travel, I recalled my first visit to Omsk in Siberia, during the bone-chilling cold of December a year before. This was before COVID, so the concept of online meetings wasn’t so prevalent. We had covered a lot of ground in a year, and a few details had to be sewn up before we signed the contract.
A smooth travel
I was relaxed as I boarded the flight to Abu Dhabi, the first of the two stops before I was to land in Omsk nearly 24 hours later. There was a three-hour layover in Moscow before I boarded my flight to the final destination—Omsk—
during which I caught up with my family; this kept me cheerful despite the long journey. The flight landed on schedule in Omsk, and I was pleasantly surprised to be welcomed by the local representative, Nikolai. We drove straight to the hotel and had a long chat as we planned right up to the last detail of my agenda for the next two days. Three hours later, after having downed a couple of cappuccinos, I bid him goodbye and retired to the comfort of my room.
Lightening strikes
It suddenly hit me how tired I was as I had
a quick shower before hitting the bed. Then I realised I hadn’t switched on my phone since landing in Omsk. As I expectantly switched on my phone, I was blissfully unaware of the shock and grief that was to engulf me soon. The first thing that popped up was a notification of seventeen missed calls and a flurry of text messages. There were messages such as “Call as quickly as you can.” In the family WhatsApp group, the message from my uncle that my father had passed away that afternoon struck me like a thunderbolt.
The next 15 minutes are a blur; I only recall calling my wife and brother, and confirming the heartbreaking news. I immediately called Nikolai to check on the possibility of flying out as fast as I could. Then came the second shock— there was no flight out of Omsk until the next morning. There was grief, chaos, and a feeling of sheer helplessness.
Heartspeak 15
Courageously facing the truth
I collapsed on the floor and cried my heart out. I remembered all the good things and some not-so-good ones too. Eventually, the emotions subsided a bit, and I started getting a grip on myself. I came face to face with the reality that I was stuck in this alien place for the next ten hours and that no amount of grieving was going to help me. Sitting alone in that hotel room, with no one to commiserate with me, would make it even worse. This was the moment of truth for me. Something deep inside prevailed upon me to surrender to a faith that I had only tried to intellectually understand before. Having come all the way and nowhere to go, for now, I told myself let’s make this count.
Warrior spirit
I called Nikolai and asked him to arrange a meeting with his core team so that we could discuss project execution. As resourceful as ever, he quickly did so, and we drove straight to his office. We had an intense meeting through the night. Since the project was new to them, I had to explain every bit in detail, and we all emerged wiser by the time we finished the meeting. At the stroke of dawn, I bid a tearful goodbye to my Russian friends.
Peace that passeth all understanding I am grateful to all those who made it possible for me to fly home the next day. As I sat in that airplane, I felt an amazing sense of peace I hadn’t experienced before. Through the next 19 hours of the journey, I relived the best times I had with my father. I had long conversations with him about all the topics we avoided before. Astonishingly, that was a moment of peace that
passeth all understanding.
As I walked into our home in Belgaum, I had this strange calmness within me. I thought I would break down upon meeting my mother, but once I accepted the fact that my father was gone, my grief was gone too! The first words I spoke to my mother were “He always lived life on his terms, and the best homage to him will be to bid adieu to his mortal remains with grace.”
My father lived life king-size, and as the king never dies, he lives on forever.
A CEO and devoted family man, deeply in love with life, Rajeev Hallur expresses his devotion through habitual writing. His love for humanity fuels his belief in infinite human goodness, which helps shape his life’s narrative.