By Megha Bajaj
As Megha Bajaj began to study certain entrenched patterns in her life, to her delight they began to shift and dissolve
A few years ago, I did a short stint as the high school English teacher for an International school. The principal of the school used to take a wonderful session for the eleventh and twelfth graders called T.O.K or Theory Of Knowledge. To my joy, she allowed me to attend these, along with the students. For me these classes were alive – more alive than any other class I ever had growing up. We would argue, we would scrutinize, we would discuss and disseminate, and it was absolutely wonderful. One session that never left me was one on reality.
The crux of the session was: There is a big difference between a fact, and a reality. Fact was objective. It was final. It was what it was. Reality was subjective. Personal. It could differ from person to person. Here is an example: Fact: It is 24 degrees Celsius. Reality: For a person used to colder climes this could be warm and pleasant – whilst for one more used to tropical weather, this may be very cold. It amazed me to discover the difference. And it intellectually stimulated me. However, it is in the last few years that this session led me to a spiritual breakthrough. I realised that we accept reality as real. But reality may not actually be real. From a very young age I have believed that I will be loved by many, hated by many – unlike my sister who is just universally loved. I tend to get into equal amounts of beautiful conversations and bickering – seem to cause love as well as conflicts wherever I go, and usually always had someone love me, and someone hate me. It was just how things were in school, in college, at work. Until I realised that at some point in my childhood, I had gone through some experience and ever since this pattern had become my reality.
Reality. And yet not real. For days I observed this pattern. I saw how my own thoughts would ensure that when I entered a group of new people, I would befriend some, and end up judging others. I created my own rifts. And most of them were actually unnecessary. As I began to realise this inner chasm – as I watched what I was doing, I began to change my thoughts and feelings. Yes, I attracted and felt attracted to some – but instead of becoming negative about others, I maintained a neutrality, an acceptance. It was an absolute miracle how the inner and outer world began to synchronize. The more consciously loving and accepting I became, the faster an eternal (or so it seemed) pattern began to fall apart. For a pattern to stay, it needs a certain energy. As the energy collapses, the pattern collapses. From being really troubled about some relationships, I am at a point where I have some really deep, beautiful ones, and some neutral ones. An active dislike is not really present. I do not harbour it within. I feel nothing less than a wizard in Hogwarts with this brilliant tool. Am gradually examining various patterns – why do things seem to move and then pause in my life? My reality is no longer the final word on me. It’s fluid. It’s transforming. And I now know, to a large extent we can co-author our reality.
The more consciously loving and accepting I became, the faster an eternal (or so it seemed) pattern began to fall apart
If you think life is a certain way, and you just cannot get out of it – think again. You may have bought into a reality that may not be real at all. Time to explore. Time to watch. Time to transform.
|Megha is, above all, a seeker. These days she is attempting to find herself in the role of a teacher through the online writing course designed by her. You can know more about her on www.wonderofwords.org|
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