Say no to porn
August 2016 By Purnima Pandey Addiction to pornography can weaken your character, destroy your relationships, and annihilate your peace of mind. Purnima Pandey explores ways to rise above this malaise Former American footballer Terry Crews, who currently works as an actor in films and television shows, generally engages with his followers on Facebook through his video series. He named one such video series ‘Dirty little secret’, through which he directly and honestly talked to his followers about his struggles with pornography addiction. “For years, I kept hiding a secret… I was addicted to pornography,” says Terry, adding, “Pornography damaged my life in myriad ways.” Terry is not alone. A journalist friend confided that she also had once suffered from addiction to online pornography. “Once, while at work, a pornography website suddenly opened on my screen. Perhaps it was accessed by someone from a different shift using this particular computer system. Petrified, I switched off the system. But this started happening every day and after a while, my fears gave way to curiosity. I went to a porn website, downloaded an adult movie and subsequently watched porn of every kind.” Eventually it became an obsession, and her laptop drive became filled with adult movies. “I would watch porn at every available opportunity,” she says, adding, “I had reached a stage where I started getting bored by normal ‘soft porn’ movies.” She moved from ‘soft’ porn to ‘hard’ porn in search of a greater kick. Her addiction soon told on her health. “I became unmindful of my diet, and my food timings went haywire. I lost interest in attending college, or in studies. Everyone appeared like a sex object. I would only think about porn all the time. I stopped talking to family and friends because of the fear of my secret getting exposed. I looked ill. And ill I was – because I was so ashamed of myself,” says she. Her life took a sudden turn when the responsibility of running her household fell on her shoulders. In order to fulfill her new responsibilities, she decided to quit the practice, and successfully de-addicted. However, she agrees that it was gruelling. “My life was in shambles, yet at every available opportunity I would scroll through porn websites, selecting movies and watching them, filling me with shame.” And this is the reason that British journalist, broadcaster, writer and columnist Tony Parsons, who has been a vociferous and harsh critic of pornography since the last 30 years, says, “It creates appetites that should not exist, it stimulates cravings that should never be satisfied.” According to a survey, around 70 per cent people watch pornography. It is estimated that around seven to eight crore people watch porn every week. Out of these, 20 to 25 per cent watch it daily and if given the chance, they would spend most of their time watching porn. Ten per cent has accepted that they have porn addiction. Research shows that porn affects the brain the same way drugs do. Watching porn gives rise to incontrollable sexual desires. Addicts start having sexual fantasies, and are left overpowered by their sexual feelings. Their inability to control these feelings leads to relationship problems. The Department of Psychology, Cambridge University, made 19 volunteers watch various porn videos and mapped their brain activities. The research showed the same brain activities which gets triggered off after consuming drugs. A new study from Case Western Reserve University suggests that the mere idea of porn addiction can have adverse effects on a person’s mental health. Researchers found that those who believed they had an addiction to pornography also experienced psychological issues. Apart from causing shame, loneliness, depression, insomnia, anorexia, irritation, anger, anxiety, and mental disorders, it is also a cause behind broken relationships. It can also lead to sexual crimes such as rape. In a research conducted by University of Sydney, about 43 per cent of more than 800 participants stated that they started watching porn between the ages of 11 to 13. Porn’s easy accessibility is increasing sexual frustration and sexually violent behavior in people. In a TedTalk, sex and gender studies scholar Ran Gavrieli discloses how pornography fueled his personal fantasies with anger and violence, triggered unreal expectations, and when these expectations couldn’t be met, made his life stressful. “Till the age of 11 or 12 years, I didn’t even think of touching or kissing anybody. There was no curiosity of any kind. All this happened after pornography’s infiltration in my life. Until then, I would only fantasise about what I would say to my girlfriend, her response to it, and so on. But porn addiction plagues your mind and attacks your brain. My imaginative prowess dimmed over time; I would masturbate but not with my beautiful partner in mind; my mind would be filled with the images of porn actors faking orgasm. I never wanted this,” he shares. “It has been around six to seven years since I freed myself from this addiction, thank God!” says Terry, adding, “It truly is a damaging addiction. It took my life to the edge of ruin. The innumerable messages, emails, phone calls seeking help after I released the video, prove that pornography is indeed a big problem.” These personal experiences, statistics and studies are worrisome. But the good news is that one can free oneself from the shackles of pornography. Terry, Ran and my friend – all of them proved bigger than their addictions. Not only them, there are innumerable people out there fighting this menace according to their capacities. What is pornography? According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, pornography is the act of causing sexual excitement through movies, pictures, or magazines depicting or describing nudity or sex in a very open and direct way. According to Wikipedia, pornography had its advent in the year 1895 when Frenchmen Eugène Pirou and Albert Kirchner made the world’s first porn film. By the 19th century, it was available in many forms. Its commercial success paved way for similar other film-makers. Porn films are banned in some countries, and this makes the whole task much more challenging as well as commercially profitable. It is a thriving multi-billion dollar industry today! Why does one get addicted? Neuro scientist Dr William Struthers explains: When a person repeatedly watches pornographic images, his brain starts charting new neural pathways. Every time one accesses porn, this pathway broadens a bit and with time, turns into automatic pathways. The neural circuitry deepens this procedure, resulting in the deep embedding of porn-related stuff in the brain. William compares this phenomenon to the Grand Canyon in the USA. Just like the narrow pathways running amidst the canyon, the brain also develops such narrow pathways that can only carry porn-related images. Dr William also acknowledges the role of various hormones and neurotransmitters in porn addiction. When a person used to pornography looks at or fantasises about another person, his or her testosterone levels start increasing, resulting in an increased desire of having sex. Along with this, norepinephrine – an organic chemical – gets released which is responsible for mobilising the brain and body for action. Other hormones like serotonin which is responsible for creating ‘excitement’ for sexual pleasure also gets released. Dopamine impacts the mind and nudges the brain to relive the apparently ‘credible and pleasurable’ experience once more by watching porn. When a person indulges in porn and unnatural sex, the released endogenous opiate provides him or her with a feeling of faux ‘pleasure’, while oxytocin and vasopressin bind this experience of pleasure with pornographic images. Of course, chemicals are only a consequence of the addiction. Behind it is a plethora of emotional issues ranging from low self-esteem, poor self-confidence, depression and others. Reiki healer, corporate trainer and motivational speaker Anil Bhatnagar says, “Unacknowledged, the emotional information coded in vibrations gets transformed into a headache, shoulder, wrist or lower back pain, indigestion or a more deeply entrenched addiction such as pornography or alcoholism.” The effects of porn Researcher and author of Your Brain on Porn, Gary Wilson, who has chronicled the experiences of porn addicts, says, “Porn is addictive and destructive. There is nothing real in pornography; it is just a vulgar and crude representation of our fantasies. Problems arise when people start emulating it in their lives. But the truth is that you cannot emulate acts shown in porn films in your real life because all of it is unreal. This ‘trying’ fills people with hopelessness and frustration, paving way for mental and physical diseases.” Adds Terry, “It changes the way you look at people. You start using them; they become objects for you. They get turned into mere flesh to satiate your lust, instead of being living beings worthy of your love.” The cure Delhi-based clinical psychologist, Dr Pulkit Sharma, says, “It is possible to cure porn addiction through psychotherapy.” However, he warns that unless the addict wants to heal, no external effort will work. He or she needs to be courageous enough to commit to healing and never give up. He needs to take responsibility for their own well-being. Author of Pornography Addiction: Destroying the Habit and Breaking the Cycle, Jay Anthony, observes, “Millions of people are enslaved by this addiction and ruining their relati