Seeing the real as unreal
May 2023
The importance of having a guru on the spiritual path is emphasised by Sri Nandkishore Tiwari in a conversation with Pradeep Krishnan
While browsing the internet, the picture of a smiling bald man with a salt-and-pepper eard, resembling the late Bharat Gopi (National award–winning Malayalam film actor), made me curious to know more about him.
The man was Sri Nandkishore Tiwari, an editor turned spiritual master based in Bengaluru, who was born on September 27, 1969, in Durkhuru, in the Jhansi district of Uttar Pradesh. On becoming a realised master, he established the Universal Forum for Human Dignity (UNIFOHD), an NGO, in 2002.
Later, the Darpan Foundation, Bengaluru, and the Darpan Ashram, Urigam (a small hamlet nestled in a picturesque forest valley), were formed in 2018. These institutions aimed at the all-round spiritual development of the individual and, thereby, the society at large, through his Sahaj Smriti Yog (SSY), a unique practice.
A recipient of the Acharya Chanakya Award—2018 for his contributions to the sphere of spirituality, he is on the panel of consultants of NIMHANS (Bengaluru) as a philosopher and guide.
Listening to Guruji’s talks on “What is the purpose of life?” “What is karma?” and “How to remain guilt-free,” generated a desire in me to visit the ashram and interview him. Soon, contacts were established, and his wife, Smt Smita Tiwari, an IT professional and a native of Ernakulam, Kerala, affectionately addressed as ‘Guruma,’ made all travel arrangements for my wife and me to the ashram, as well as for the interview with Guruji at his residence.
At intervals, the foundation organises ‘Upanishad,’ a spontaneous dialogue session between Guruji and eminent personalities. The latest one was held with Padma Shri D R Karthikeyan IPS (Retd), the president of Life Positive, on February 11, 2023, on the topic ‘Life and Values of Life.’
The interview with Guruji was held the next day at his modest two-BHK apartment in Bengaluru. Clad in a white dhoti-kurta and a black turban, he himself opened the door with a broad smile and a namaskar. For nearly two hours, I felt like I was talking to my maternal uncle. When asked how to tackle discord in relationships, Guruji answered, “That is the nature of life. Without a little friction with the floor, you cannot walk smoothly. Accept it as it is.”
Afterwards, Guruji requested my wife Sreelakshmi to sing a bhajan, and when we were about to depart, adorning us with two ponnadais (shawls, or precious golden cloth, to honour someone) and offering us two apples, he blessed us saying, “You two are a blessed couple. You have done enough good karma in the past. You are doing a wonderful job like the late Paul Brunton.” Below are excerpts from the exclusive interview:
Respected Guruji, tell us about your spiritual journey, the turning point in your life, and your first mysterious experience when you were a baby.
In real terms, none can talk about one’s spiritual journey as it is about becoming who you really are here and now, who you always were, and who you always will be. In other words, one’s life journey is all about one who neither ever was, nor presently is, and who will never ever be in the future. Then, what can be said? Spiritually, you are always how and where you really are, eternally. So there is no journey. Then, how can ‘becoming’ be described as it is a constant happening into nothingness? But, from a worldly point of view, even for a moment, no one can ‘stay’ without journeying.
Yes, some turning points in life may be told, but where do you start? From this life span or the previous ones? Which ones to omit and which ones to mention? Fortunately, as you have asked about a specific incident from my life, I will begin with that.
Our family ancestors were practitioners of the Rigveda and had a tradition of reciting it daily (parayana). Later, a few generations ago, the family shifted to reciting the Valmiki Ramayana.
Guruji Nandkishore Tiwari with his better half Smt Smita Tiwariji
And, from the time of my great grandfather, Ramcharit Manas has been recited; my father kept this family tradition alive. After dinner, at the family gathering, while the elders used to recite along with my father, the rest of us would listen to the recitation.
One day, when I was two and a half years old and was lying in my cot as usual, the Ramcharit Manas was kept open on the rihal (book stand) and my father, my elder sister, and my elder brother were reciting from it. Suddenly, I realised that I was also reading along with them. The couplets that I read that day are graphically fresh in my memory even today. But what my father saw were my lips quivering in the attempt to utter something. Stopping the rendering and affectionately caressing my head, with teary eyes, he said, “Look, this child is trying to sing along with us.” But I was perplexed that he did not acknowledge my reading and reciting. With that pain in my heart, I slept sobbingly. Perhaps, my first noteworthy encounter with the ego. At that time, I could not comprehend that being a child, I had not even started speaking yet.
That memory stuck with me and, later, I often wondered how I could read that day when I hadn’t even learnt to recognise letters by then. Is everything already there inside and it manifests only in proportion to our efforts? What is that proportion? Who decides the rightness of the proportions of various other ingredients for any happening to take place? Though several such questions were raised within and outside, I was no different from other children my age. Maybe, it is in retrospect alone that any incident can be termed as a ‘turning point’ because while it happens, one sees it as normal. Having an out-of-body experience and meeting my guru may be termed as turning points for common consumption. But, really, how do you speak about a journey or station or point into nothingness experienced by the nothingness? Perhaps, only by indicating the inevitability of every spiritual seeker to find himself immortal, infinite, and eternal. To experience it, some may take many births, while others may attain it within a flash in a single life span. Whenever it happens, it happens through a living guru’s grace.
CPlease share the experience of meeting your guru?
It was the culmination of the preparation of lifetimes. Keen to see Him in human form, I wandered from place to place in search of Him. But he kept moving swiftly from one place to another. A day before the eventful day, on receiving the message that he is in an ashram in a particular city, my wife, son, and I, along with three spiritual associates, drove about four hundred kilometres in two cars to that city. Finally, on reaching the ashram, despite efforts made by everyone, I could not enter His room. Accepting the situation, when I told my wife about my decision to travel back, my son insisted that I try once again. Surprisingly, when I again pleaded with the person in charge, though several people were waiting in the big hall, he acquiesced, and I was let in. Guruji wasn’t there. Shortly, people started whispering, “Guruji is coming,” and offered salutations. But I saw nobody there except light all around. In that moment, the idea that ‘I am unworthy of seeing Him and, therefore, He is visible to everyone but me’ crossed my mind. Immersed in this overpowering experience, without any difference left in my consciousness between what is inside and what is outside, what is me and what is not me, I just found myself kneeling on the ground. When I tried to touch the ground, my hand touched His shoe. He stopped for a moment, and I could see His frame. In that moment’s interaction, immediately, all our dots got connected. After that, we never met, nor did we ever separate. He had, in a crystal clear way, transmitted to me: “I am your disciple’s disciple from your immediately preceding life and custodian and caretaker of the master, method, and mission that you divinised and devised in your previous life.” I replied that He was my guru in this life and in this frame. That day can be termed as the turning point in my life if you so wish. In the couple of years that He lived thereafter, though we did not meet, what is ‘eternal spiritual union’ and what is ‘living in the moment’ became as clear as daylight to me. I last visited His ashram on the day of the ritual of consigning His mortal coil to the fire.
How did the transformation of an editor to a spiritual guru happen?
None should claim to be a guru as no one is a guru. But without a guru, no one attains liberation. Only wise ones and disciples recognise the guru in someone. Guru is the eternal liberation present before us in ephemeral human form. The guru–disciple relationship is the only eternal relationship. But can we even understand, appreciate, and experience eternity before finding ourselves immortal? And how are we to find ourselves immortal when we are relating ourselves to mortality? So long as we find ourselves limited to being mortal, there is no hope for us to muster courage and seek immortality. Then, where do we begin to solve this constant entanglement lying between mortality and immortality? How do we begin? We need a person in human garb with whom we could communicate at our own level of consciousness, a person whose association could impart us the experience of immortality. And when such an incident happens, then all other identities, whether of an editor or a prime minister, and all relations, whether of a mother or brother, take a back seat because one becomes worthy of seeing beyond the chain of births and deaths as well as beyond the professional identities and blood relationships in the present.
What is real sadhana, and why is it so important in one’s life?
Filled with gratitude when one becomes capable of receiving the grace of a living guru, one keeps becoming worthy of seeing and upholding the reality as it really is; that is real i. It makes one see the grace at work instead of seeing themself at work, and then one gets fully immersed in work.
While in Reality, the solution (samaadhaan) comes first and the problem (samasyaa), later, in apparent reality, the problem appears first and the solution is hardly visible or it comes in bits and pieces. This is the reason behind the importance of sadhana. Who does not want to be the solution or the problem solver? Who does not want to be at peace with one’s inner or outer environment? Who does not want to stay content? Without sadhana, none can.
For those who have ‘attained’ realisation, there is no problem in life. But before that stage (the point from where the whole of existence is visible as it really is), human beings first see only problems instead of solutions. They see things in a disturbed order because they themselves are disturbed within. If they somehow attain samadhi (state of Self-realisation), then they become the samaadhaan for everything and they see every samasyaa as samah-asya-yah (that is how this is at peace). As long as our seeing and upholding the priorities in their real order is missing, we keep seeing everywhere what is not real.
The word ‘sadhana’ means ‘to balance.’ The one who upholds this balance is known as a ‘sadhu.’ Real sadhana is to make an effort to somehow see Reality as it is and then uphold it by staying as a medium for all others, especially for the ones who are making efforts.
What are the essential qualifications for practising Sahaj Smriti Yog? How is it different from other systems?
Sahaj Smriti Yog is simple and is specially devised for householders (grihasthas) as they are best placed to evolve spiritually. There is no bar; people from all countries, religions, and genders can practise, and the only requirement is that they should not use any kind of intoxicants and should be of good moral character. Every spiritual path is a living practice which aims to lead every seeker to that state of ultimate consciousness, commonly termed ‘Reality.’ Differences between various paths lie in the state of spiritual attainments of the ones who show the path and the simplicity or complexity of their approach. And who can decide which path is simpler than the other? And who can tell who is the most spiritually attained person on earth so far? SSY offers unparalleled clarity between four-fold fields (identities) namely the soul, the self, the mind, and the body in the simplest manner.
Please describe your concepts: pure food for the body, pure food for the mind, pure food for the self, and pure food for the soul.
Food is one need which unites the whole of humanity and all beings. Food nourishes all consumers of food. If we earn pesticide free, naturally grown food grains, fruits, and vegetables through honest means and cook fresh food and consume it with a prayerful attitude, then all physical diseases will easily stay away
from us. That is pure food for the body. These days, the content served in the name of entertainment and news is spoiling the young and the old alike. Refining the taste and choosing only that kind of content which helps in orienting us towards the highest goal of life is pure food for the mind. Satsang is pure food for the mind.
It is through prolonged satsang alone that one recognises the higher truth about oneself, the subtle identity beyond the mind called Self. Satsang, the stage of transformation, is possible only with a living guru. For further spiritual progress towards the highest stage of ‘seeing,’ pure food for the self, or prolonged satsang, is required.
Pure food for the soul is received as spiritual Close Encounter 23
These days, the content served in the name of entertainment and news is spoiling the young and the old alike. Refining the taste and choosing only
that kind of content which helps in orienting us towards the highest goal of life is pure food for the mind. Satsang is pure food for the mind.
transmission (akshar-aahuti) from the supreme source through our chosen form or guru. Food for the body makes one energetic. Food for the mind makes one peaceful and content. Food for the self makes one immortal. Food for the soul makes one infinite by incessantly imparting eternity every moment. At this stage, food transforms into prasad (divine offering). Such a person’s company will please anyone open to receiving. SSY offers this alchemy before all earthlings. Food for the body makes one energetic. Food for the mind makes one peaceful and content. Food for the self makes one immortal. Food for the soul makes one infinite by incessantly imparting eternity every moment. At this stage, food transforms into prasad (divine offering). Such a person’s company will please anyone open to receiving. SSY offers this alchemy before all earthlings.
Though we read the scriptures, chant mantras, visit temples, perform pujas, etc., why is the transformation not happening?
Transformation in Indic thought traditions can be translated as kaya kalpa or rupantaranor maulik parivartan, a happening when one is open to receive wisdom and ready to act upon it. Reading scriptures gives an idea of how someone else saw Reality. Being prayerful and chanting mantras are different. I offer the hint that though Vedic hymns are mantras that are not of human origin (apaurusheya), Bhagavan Krishna, in his role as a guru, had advised moving beyond the Vedas (traigunyavishayavedah).
Though visiting temples and performing pujas are cultural activities for community bonding, inner transformation can be brought about only through real education. Absolute transformation is possible only when one meets one’s guru
and wisdom is transmitted. By practising the guru’s teachings in life, the impressions go and discernment sparkles, and the courage to uphold the truth emanates from within. It is only through vivek drishti (discernment, or satya
asatya vichar) that transformation is possible. The eternity (the wisdom) stays eternally open to all, every moment, to impart itself. That is how Indic wisdom has been seeing the transformation process eternally.
How can one discover or realise oneself? To feel complete, one needs to know oneself. And the route to knowing oneself is asking questions. Whom to ask? In the beginning, one can ask anyone, including one’s own self, and when seeking the spirit is practised consistently, it leads one to the ‘one’ who knows the Self as one, known as the guru. He knows your self as well because his self and your self are not different at the level of Self realisation. At that stage, everything becomes known as an inseparable eternally connected whole, leading to realising the futility as well as the utility of one’s being, which one used to know as oneself before Self-realisation.
What is the role of the guru in realising one’s goal in life?
The goal of human life is to attain to supreme consciousness and live that consciousness forever. This can be realised by associating oneself with a living guru. It is perfectly alright to move from guru to guru as many times as necessary or stay with the same one for as many births as necessary. The guru is all-pervasive. Therefore, from the guru’s point of view, we are always within the guru and with the guru.
It is our vision which needs to evolve. When with such an association, we too transform into seers and see things the same way, then our goal in life is attained.
Guruji, you had written, “Imagination can be realised, but realisation cannot be imagined!” But there are many who imagine that they are realised.
What in common parlance is known as the real, in Reality, is merely an appearance and not the Real or the Reality. So whatever one imagines or dreams to achieve, all that may be brought into being or made to appear as real by consistently making efforts to fulfil that dream. But the Real or the Reality is beyond human imagination as it is beyond the reach of the mind and intelligence. The quote indicates the aforesaid situation where appearances are believed to be real. It is like believing a mirage to be water. Many are overwhelmed by their intellectual prowess and imagine that they know Reality, not knowing that Reality is not within the reach of the mind, ego, or intelligence. The statement indicates the irony of this situation wherein people, steeped in ignorance, keep imagining the realisation within their minds before they even cross the field of the mind.
Message to the readers?
In Indic knowledge traditions, a message is termed ‘sandesh.’ And, language has four levels of communication: The first level, sandesh, means being with the same (sayujyataa), the second level means becoming the same (saalokyataa), the third level means transmitting the Self to all those who seek the same (saameepyataa), and the fourth level means only the same (saarupyataa). All the readers may choose to receive spiritual knowledge according to their individual receptivity. However, the sandesh has always been the same for all.
Pradeep Krishnan is a student of consciousness, based in Kerala. A seeker by nature, he is deeply attracted to the teachings of Sri Ramana Maharshi and Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj.