June 2014
By Suma Varughese
Suma Varughese discovers the wisdom of taking for granted that life is happening as we want it to
In his book, God Loves Fun, Sri Sri Ravi Shankar offers what I consider to be profound advice when it comes to a romantic relationship. “Simply take it for granted that you are loved,” he says.
“Wow,” I thought to myself when I read it first many years ago. How beautiful and simple. And yet how difficult. Our insecurities, worries and anxieties will out. Our poor self-esteem cannot be so easily assuaged. Our need to be loved and appreciated, and our fear that we will not be, keep us locked in apprehension and doubt.
And yet, who can deny the wisdom of what he says? Animals and babies don’t fret about whether they are lovable or not. It is this very serenity and lack of self-consciousness that makes them so lovable and powerful. We melt in their presence because they simply are. Free of the mind, they remain their whole and perfect selves.
In my battle against IBS, perhaps one of the biggest foes has been my constant anxiety. Would the food I ate agree with me? Would I be able to void my bowels? Would I be free of discomfort? My anxiety kept my attention peeled to my abdomen, and tension would grip me. Gradually, through the many insights that have come my way of late, particularly the one about nothing being a big deal, the worry and anxiety has been slowly dissipating. I am still not in a state of perfect peace, but I am increasingly singing a new song to myself these days. Just take for granted that health exists, I tell myself, and it is helping me greatly.
I no longer obsess about the state of my digestion. I do not worry as much about minor ups and downs. Operating from the premise that health is my natural state is helping me to put my attention on other things and leave the body alone. It is not surprising that the stomach is responding by becoming better, now that it does not have to contend with my constricted state of mind.
Animals and babies don’t fret about whether they are lovable or not. It is this very serenity and lack of self-consciousness that makes them so lovable and powerful.
Presently, I am engaged in using this insight in other areas too. Can I also, as Sri Sri advocated, take for granted that I am loved? My insecurities have always stopped me from doing so earlier. I have spent many anxious moments analysing people’s behaviour and wondering if it meant that they no longer loved me, or whether there was something irrevocably wrong with me. Now I am beginning to walk this path with more confident footsteps. Why not take as a given that I am loved? After all, science has proved that every cell in my body loves me. And since we are one, every cell in every body also loves me. I am therefore, hugely loved!
It is still not easy, but this new way of relating is making it easier for me to be with people and to be more authentic as well. What else can one take as a given? Just about everything, I presume. That I am creative, that I am successful, that I am prosperous, and even perhaps that I am enlightened. After all, that is who we are and if we were to operate from that premise, it would actually manifest in our lives.
Worth a shot, surely?
Suma Varughese is the Editor-in-Chief of Life Positive
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