Taking the Onus
The more responsibility one takes for one’s well-being, the more prosperous one becomes, says Megha Bajaj
I like the word ‘onus’ which means taking responsibility. But I like the sound of ‘onus’ more because it is closer to the word ‘ownership’. And somehow that seems more complete. Much of our life actually relies upon and blossoms through the effective use of these three words: Taking the onus.
Physically, to me, taking the onus means recognising that my body is mine and no one but I can take care of it, unlike the professional front, where a lot of things can be delegated. Unfortunately, when we do not take the onus for our body and it suffers, we do not suffer alone. The entire family suffers. A much easier option would be to own our bodies; understand that it is the only vehicle we have in this lifetime to achieve all that we want to,and respect it.
In relationships, to me, taking the onus means recognising that at the end of the day, it does not matter whose fault it was but whose life it is. I have kept one key thumb rule for myself: Direct most or all of my expectations from others to myself. I can never control the thoughts, words, or actions of another. However, my own thoughts, feelings, and actions are completely in my hands, and I try to choose peace as often as possible. I try to keep love at the core. Recently, someone very dear to me didn’t behave in the way I expected her to. I thought over the situation and realised that I could either dwell on it and create a ruckus, or I could forgive and move on. Somehow, forgiving seemed a more peaceful option. Today, the incident already feels ages old, and no longer has a ‘bite’.
Oftentimes, I have also shared with the other what has caused me pain. I usually choose to express when I know that the person on the other end has the maturity to understand and absorb what I am saying. I, now, don’t waste time explaining to those who get defensive and create a scene. In such cases, I urge myself to accept. I take the onus for my mental and emotional well-being and have several deep, very enriching relationships by not relying on others but by depending on myself to make the most of the situation.
Even with finances, one of the gravest mistakes many people make is giving over the controls to others. We are responsible for our money and its growth. A lot of agencies and individuals can help, but I have finally realised the value of knowing the nitty-gritty and taking the onus.
Finally, my favourite aspect of life—spirituality. In my life, nothing can be closer to the truth than the age-old saying: You do your best, God will do the rest. I love the addition someone had made to it: If you don’t do your best, God will take rest. God to me is a supreme system. It works if you work. Some projects which took off in ways unimaginable had this aspect at their core. I did everything I could, and when I didn’t know the way forward, something beyond me took over.
‘Onus’ helps you to draw the circle of your life, with you at the centre. With a strong centre, the radius can grow and embrace so many more lives. I am excited to own my life. And you?