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• AHA-MOMENTS- MAY

The balancing act
Echoing the teachings of Buddhism, Megha Bajaj is happy every time she finds a balance in any aspect of her life

None other than the great Buddha spoke of The Middle Path. He spoke of finding a balance between two extremities: not this or that but the difficult-yet-possible-to-find place between this and that. 

I don’t know if you face this quandary, but I do all the time. 

I travel through the entire spectrum of two sides. Rather than finding my quiet space in the middle,;the drama, the emotions, and the sheer thrill of swaying between two extremities has kept me busy for a large part of my life. However, I would like to believe I am getting wiser and am beginning to seek that centre; and the peace it brings me makes me wonder why I didn’t seek it earlier.

Let’s begin with health. There was a time I believed that I should eat any food I could lay my eyes on.  I loved to eat. Since I have a naturally slim frame, weight was never a concern, and I indulged to my heart’s content.

One meeting with a naturopath changed all of this. I realised the abuse I was putting my body through, and this was showing up as various symptoms—from lack of energy to acidity. I changed my ways and how! Suddenly, I went through a period where except for raw food, I wouldn’t eat anything. Even when my tongue was screaming for taste, I only gave it health. I felt healthy, but something within me wasn’t happy. I felt deprived.

I then realised that I needed to find the balance. I eat much healthier than I ever did, but I also binge once in a while. Also, one or two days a week, I don’t put any rules on myself and just enjoy everything that travels to my tummy. This gives me a feeling of discipline and yet allows me to stay in love with food. It keeps me healthy and energetic and yet doesn’t make my immune system so weak that it can’t handle various varieties of food. Moderation, I realised, is the answer.

Food was the easier part. I wanted to try moderation with relationships as well. Could it be done, and what did it mean anyway?

I somehow wanted a best friend, a mentor—someone I could intellectualise about life with and laugh on the weirdest jokes with. And she entered my life a few months ago. I literally felt I had dreamt her into life. I experienced depths of love with her, and we would talk for hours. However, in time, I realised that this was beginning to affect my work. My husband Arun was very fond of her too, but suddenly, I could see some strange insecurity in him. He didn’t question the relationship, but he couldn’t handle the quantum of time I was investing in the new relationship.

I had thoughts of giving up the relationship and then realised that nothing that drastic was required. It was about moderation.From twenty-five messages, we brought it to about five; from hours and hours of speaking, we made it a few minutes of quality conversation. Nothing about the depth was affected, and yet, the relationship was now more palatable to all and it was easy for everyone to accept it. Balance—we found it, without losing anything.

Moderation is the key to everything in life. I am not the expert, but with practice, I am getting better and better at finding it in all aspects of my life: working and doing nothing, spirituality and materialism, having and giving. It’s almost like a game, and I am loving it.