The business of gurus
October 2016
By Abhishek Thakore
Seven new GURU-product lines will be hitting the market very soon, chuckles Abhishek Thakore
Given the roaring success of Patanjali Ayurveda, followed by the burst of Sri Sri products, there has been a wave of new products and services coming up from all corners. LP reviews some of these products.
- Ekhart Watches
Forget your Apple Watch – it is only a confusing and complicated device that clouds your mind. Instead, Ekhart watches tell you the time whenever you look at them. Every time they say “NOW”. Because it is always NOW!
- Lama Tours
What good is enlightenment if it didn’t happen in Tibet? And what better way to visit Tibet than with your own personal Rimpoche, customised flags and a special automatic prayer wheel that prays for itself? Lama tours give you the experience of the Himalayan Kingdom.
PS: However, for now, our Tibet tours take you only up to Dharamshala.
PPS: It feels almost like Tibet!
- Mata Deos
What is a New Ager if he doesn’t hug? From workshops to parties and from parents to strangers, you find yourself hugging others all the time. This can be particularly difficult for the other person if you carry your own unique smell. It is time to replace it – with Mata Deos. Every hug will now make you smug!
- Chopra Furnishings
If you have ever wondered who you are, all you need is a really clean mirror! Reflection is made easy with Chopra mirrors where you see your real self. Need some rest and leisure? Try the Chopra Couch (but don’t get caught!). Looking for some guiding light? Then Chopra lamps are for you! And how can we forget the Chopra book shelf – where else will you store the 80-odd books in all their 43 language translations?!
- Robin Cars
Love the BatMobile? Now you can look as cool as you want, with Robin Cars! The Ferraris are so good that you will want to sell them. The guaranteed-to-crash Swift Demiser will make you think about who will cry when you die! And how can we forget to bring, for the first time in this world, The Car that has No Title!
- Krishnamurthi Fire Extinguishers
At least once in a lifetime, your entire world will be on fire. Everything will burn and get destroyed – your relationships, beliefs and your stuff. At this time, every seeker needs a reliable fire extinguisher. Only trust Krishnamurthi Fire Extinguishers. The best thing about them is – they don’t work. They let you watch your world burn down while you desperately try to save it. It is the most guaranteed way to ….well, to let yourself completely, utterly and absolutely burn!.
About the author : Abhishek Thakore is a stand-up philosopher, full-time lover of life, and the founder of The Blue Ribbon Movement.