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June 2017

Megha Bajaj realises the value of accepting life, people and herself unconditionally, instead of bracketing them as good and not so good

know that we are supposed to see our parents as perfect. Especially in the Indian context, parents are to be worshipped alongside God and Guru. It is so beautiful to say, "My mother is the best... I love her the most in the whole world." What I feel for my mother is beyond words. I would give everything I can to her. I would give my very life to make her happy. And yet I will not, and cannot lie to myself and say that she is perfect. She has many traits which I dislike. Yet she has this innocence which is beyond beautiful. She is this. And she is that. And I love her in her entirety.My father? One of the most beautiful people I have ever seen and had the honour of meeting. And yet once again, is he the perfect father? No, far from it. He does a few things which infuriate and frustrate me. There are moments when I feel like just lashing out at him and then something within reminds me, “Wow, you have the pleasure of having a father… for all these years.” He is this. And he is that. And I wouldn’t change a thing about what he is to me.

Why am I referring to my mother and father? Let me look at myself. For all the positive, happy thoughts I post on Facebook, there are moments when I go through such low emotions that I wouldn't mind passing away. I could be so childlike, and yet so adult. So innocent, and yet so cunning. So beautiful, and yet so ugly. I am this. And I am that. And I think it is a blessing to be born as me from the core of my being. My mother is this. And she is that. And that is what makes her a complete person. My father is this. And he is that. And that is what makes him, him.

"We all are
‘this’ and ‘that’.
Cosmic particles
moving through a
continuum of time
and space"

I am this. I am that. And that too. And that's what makes me who I am. Why am I bringing this up? As I look at Him, I realise this is the very design of Life. And I am embedded into it. Something within suddenly feels free. How many years have I tried to fit people, God, and myself into some crazy, borrowed, narrow definition. But in reality none of them can be defined. We all are ‘this’ and ‘that’. Cosmic particles moving through a continuum of time and space.Being. Becoming. Thinking. Feeling. Doing. Not doing. For the first time in so many years of my life I wish to let go. Of these crazy stupid definitions. Of this struggle to fit a day into my definition of a good day. Of fitting people into my definitions of beautiful people. Of fitting Mom. Dad. Myself. And God. High time we broke free. And let be. Let's experience what is flowing. As it is flowing. Without an attempt to judge, change. For who are we to? Little cosmic particles with little clue of where we have come from, and where we will go. What is good, what is beautiful, what is right – these are but ideas, preconceived notions. Of course I will grow… the very design of life is to grow, to evolve, to become better… but not at the cost of feeling a constant struggle. It has to be a flow. One happy flow. Surrendering to each moment as it is, and doing what I can do best to live it. Feeling strangely relieved. Free. Liberated.

Megha is, above all, a seeker. These days she
is attempting to find herself in the role of a
teacher through the online writing course
designed by her. You can know more about her
on www.wonderofwords.org