The deepest love
Know that it is the love within you which empowers you in any relationship. And being centred in that love at its source puts you in a secure place, says Megha Bajaj
Everything I do, I do for love. Love inspires me. It motivates me. Truth be told, it is the only thing that gets me out of bed to live life each day. I find love in the sunrise, in the way my husband and I cuddle, in the soft snores of my puppy sleeping beside us, in my father’s humming every morning, in the way my cook prepares my breakfast, in what I do with my day—in everything. Love defines my existence, and I believe that if not for love, there wouldn’t be much for me to live for.
And yet, for a very long time, I have also been afraid of deep love. By its very nature, deep love can also cause deep hurt. There is a certain amount of power you place in the hands of the person you love a lot, and very easily, they can (through their thoughts, words, or actions) hurt you.
If you think about it, you’ll see that anything that you love deeply has a certain hold on you. If you love money, losing it surely creates feelings of insecurity in you. If you love your work, the question of whether you will be successful or whether others will recognise that love, will surface. Anything that has a deep meaning for you also has the power of causing fear in you.
How does one overcome this paradox? Is it possible to love so deeply, and yet, also feel secure? To feel deeply attached, and yet, do away with feelings of insecurity of losing what you love? Can love ever be free of fear? Or are the two an intertwined package?
I have realised that the more I see myself as the enlivening force, the more I recognise that it is the love in me which is making something so meaningful. It takes the power away from the object and brings it back to the source. Recognising that the love (for someone or something) is born in me, is sustained in me, and will die in me, somehow puts the power back in me and not the other.
When you feel like a giver in a relationship, somehow, the feelings of jealousy, insecurity, and possessiveness dim. Instead, you start operating out of an empowered state and the thought Will I lose it? starts getting naturally replaced by What do I have to lose? Since you are the giver, and the receiving is just happening as a by-product, the game belongs to you.
When you love something deeply, remember that you are bigger than anything that is going on in your life. Being centred within yourself allows you to enjoy everything on the outside without getting too carried away. Say, for instance,
you really wanted a project and it didn’t materialise. When the power of love is within you, you know you can simply re-create the opportunity. The outside loses its magnitude, even as the inside gains importance.
It sounds too simple, but the act of recognising that I am at the centre of my life and that no person or situation matters as much as I do has helped me love even more deeply. For I know, I am the creator. I am the Source. I can enjoy everything more with this knowledge pulsating at my core.
I cherish this Hafiz quote:
Even after all this time,
The Sun never says to the Earth, “You Owe Me!”
Look what happens with a love like that . . .
It lights up the whole sky.
It holds a deeper meaning for me now. Even aeons ago, the great poet understood that it is only by being the Sun in your own life that you experience the greatest freedom. Aha!
Megha Bajaj is a bestselling author, film script writer and poet. An ardent seeker at heart, she also runs her online writing and
healing workshops called WoW. You can read more about her on www.MeghaBajajWoW.com.
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