The emergence of knowing
March 2008
By Akila Jaikumar
There are three books which I love going back to again and again.
The first is The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. He guides us to move from compulsive, useless and repetitive thinking patterns to being present in the current moment, by keeping some portion of our awareness continuously in our inner energy body. He writes: “The more consciousness you direct into the inner body, the higher its vibrational frequency becomes… At this higher energy level, negativity cannot affect you anymore, and you tend to attract new circumstances that reflect this higher frequency.”
In short, by keeping our attention in the body as much as possible, and not allowing thoughts, emotions and fears to take over us completely, we can be anchored in the present moment.
Earlier, when perturbed or angry, I was unable to express my views, resulting in a vicious cycle of negative thoughts, resentment, and arthritis. The change I find is – yes, I still get agitated, but I can return to a calm state very quickly by becoming aware of how my breathing is, how tense my body feels, and by observing my thoughts. I reflect – well, I lost my cool, but it is okay. What do I learn to do better next time? Watching my own mind go around in circles when I remember old injustices, insults or negativities helps to break the pattern, and come out of the vicious cycle.
The second book is The Seat of The Soul by Gary Zukav. In his chapter on Choice, he talks about responsible choice. “A responsible choice is a choice that takes into account the consequences of each of your choices. …Only through responsible choice can you choose consciously to cultivate and nourish the needs of your soul, and to challenge and release the wants of your personality.” I am learning to exercise this power of choice, to be conscious. When I judge or speak negatively, I later try to go back and cleanse my inner energy field, and also send loving thoughts and energies to the person I criticised. It helps me from brooding or building resentment.
I am further indebted to the powerful message reiterated by Dr Newton Kondaveti at the Past Life Regression Therapist workshop in Hyderabad that I attended.
“You create your own reality” was drummed into us. Your actions, thoughts, emotions, perspectives create the world within and world without.
As a regression therapist, I see how the consequences of our choices exist over lifetimes. This makes me be more careful with my thoughts, words and actions.
My regularity in meditation, and the perusal of Life Positive issues over the last year have been transformational. I can discern the changes within, and the process is ongoing.
There is a knowing emerging within me. I cannot really explain what I know, but I feel some presence, some power within me. Not an arrogant power. A silent power. Not the ‘I’ of the ego, but the ‘I’ of the Higher Self. It increases my self-confidence. And Osho’s book, Zen: The Path of Paradox, is spot-on to keep my ego in check. “Ego means getting identified with a function. Somebody is a clerk, somebody is a commissioner. That is what you do, that is not what you are… The more you get fixed on these identities, the more dead you are…The emphasis of the ego is on doing, and the emphasis of consciousness is on Being.”
Earlier, there was a sense of “I am doing it”. Nowadays, I just do it. I am open to doing things I have never done before (writing articles is one such activity). The fear of failure has receded, the mental chatter is decreasing. This allows me to be more focussed, ask the right questions, think clearly, and find creative solutions. So work gets done faster, with less running around. More responsibilities can be shouldered. This again leads to increased self-confidence …the upward spiral continues.
As Louise Hay reiterates, I know that I am divinely guided and protected. It is possible to find gratitude, joy and peace in every moment; to enjoy, laugh and to keep life simple. I can practically see that I am responsible for creating the life I want and truly enjoying it.
Dr Akila Jaikumar is director and senior vice president, Bodhtree Consulting Ltd, Hyderabad
Contact: akilajaikumar@gmail.com