The Insecure heart
April 2015
Heart symbolizes love, affection and relationships . The source of our feelings. But there is a feeling, if that creeps in and reaches the roots of our relationships, can destroy everything.
"Insecurity” is an intense emotion. It makes a person feel certain unease, he often gets gripped by anxiety and nervousness. There can be a loss of trust either from one or both sides. It can cause a rift between two people and sometimes lead to health issues. The ultimate harm is that, insecurity can deeply scar a persons life and even break relationships. In the literal sense it is lack of confidence. It can be about you, your weight, height, complexion or a relationship or a new job. But it is deep rooted and somewhere is connected to the way you value yourself. Insecurity can affect a love relationship,a parent-child, siblings or even a friendship.
What can be the possible causes:
- An individual’s upbringing and his family environment plays a very important role. A broken family, abusive parents and unstable childhood gives birth to insecurity and possessiveness.
- Sudden loss of a near and dear one.
- Lack of confidence due to issues related to external appearance or a social event where a person may have been embarrassed.
- Cheating and failure of previous relationships.
- Lack of reliable and healthy friendships.
- Not much achievement till a later stage, remaining financially dependent on parents or unstable work.
The killer of joy
In relationships, insecurities are a form of disease . It slowly,gradually seeps in but takes an ugly face. An insecured person can not only throw emotional tantrums but also try to control the other person and affect other spheres of his life too. We end up dominating a person too much or being too interfering. Insecurity gives a feeling of inadequacy and instability. It makes you weak from within and suffocates people around you. It may make a person feel inadequate and worthless from within and may lead to serious health issues. A parent being insecure about his children can hinder their much required growth and freedom.An insecure spouse may develop a habit of constant nagging. The examples are endless and around us.
What can we do?
The best way to cope with insecurity is to firstly and fore mostly feel worthy and good about yourself. Compliment yourself for your achievements.
One must sit and ponder over the behaviour one is doing. We will find the root of it.
To try and correct the cause if possible. If the cause is related to personal appearance or say financial standing we can always work towards it.
To seek help and communicating with family and friends. Our family is our support system. There is no harm in talking to them and feeling light.
If you are dealing with and insecure anxious person ,patience must be kept and it should be conveyed that you are trying your best to sort out things. You can sober down a situation with humour too.
If you are the victim of an extremely insecure person who tries to be physically abusive, you must take a stand and seek help outside.
Communication ,commitment and compassion can sort out the worst situations, A sincere effort must be made to save the relationship.