By Chitra Jha
Non-violent Communication is an international program that helps us communicate in such a way that we achieve internal and external harmony, and also know ourselves and others better, says Chitra Jha
I first heard of Non-violent Communication in June 2013, at Learning Societies’ Unconference in Pune (thanks to Shammi Nanda), and understood the concept quite literally, taking the words at their face value. Since I hail from Western UP, where softness and subtlety in language is not a strong point, I tend to be quite direct (read harsh) in my communiqués, and this ‘judgmental’ trait bothers me a great deal (making me feel ‘not good enough’). Hence, when I came to know about an international convention in non-violent communication being planned for January 2014, I immediately enrolled for it, without knowing anything about the movement or its scope; all I knew was that I needed something like that at this juncture of my life.
In Dec 2013, I went to Mumbai to conduct a workshop on healing relationships, and stayed with my organizer, Priya Soparkar, at Vashi. The very first day, I browsed through her book collection, and was pleasantly surprised to find Non-violent Communication – A language of life by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. I picked up the book, and was immediately hooked.
Seeing my engrossed interest in the subject, Priya very sweetly gifted the book to me, and the rest as they say is history, albeit current history!
I devoured the book, made notes, and began my practice in earnest – with myself as well as my clients. By the time I reached Trivandrum on January 12, to attend the NVC convention, I was not only deeply entrenched in the subject, but had also used the tool. Without this one-month training, I would have been a little lost there.
The NVC convention at Maria Rani Centre, Trivandrum, was a melting pot of different cultures that had come together in their love for non-violent communication as a tool to create internal and external harmony. Two hundred delegates from 14 countries, and eight facilitators from as many countries, created an eclectic atmosphere of love, understanding, wisdom and growth. One has to experience such a convention to completely understand NVC’s vast scope and myriad applications!
I must add tha
“When we are not in touch with our needs, we tend to express them indirectly through evaluations and interpretations. And when we do that, others hear criticism and judgment, which prompts them to use their energy in either self-defense or counter-attack. This becomes a virtual battlefield.”
Yes, its a Eureka moment for me too!
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