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Megha Bajaj’s search for love ended when she realised that she herself was the reservoir of all the love she had been seeking

Love inspires me and motivates me and keeps me going. Ever since I can remember, I have been in search of it, and wherever I find it, I feel complete. Sometimes love has taken the form of relationships; at other times, music, a still lake, or a purple mountaintop. Love language has been around me, in its various forms.

Yet, love language has become an integral part of me only in the last few months. Earlier, it was dependent on who I was with or where I was. It is only now that I am experiencing it that is no longer a fluctuating emotion; rather, it has become an enlivening force. What changed? A few attitudinal shifts have caused this wonderful emotion to become a part of me.

The first: Instead of thinking what I can receive, I think of what I can give in any relationship. For years, my guru, Mahatria, has been telling me, “The starvation for love ceases only by giving love… and not by receiving.” When you wait for someone to love you, you attract people who are like you—wanting to be loved. How will two empty people ever fill each other? It is only when you move into a state of wanting to love and give, that strangely, you find yourself surrounded by complete, loving people who are waiting to grow in love with you and drench you in love.

No matter what relationship I enter, the inner dialogue is, “How can I make this person’s life a little better with my presence?” Sometimes, it’s just about being there or sharing a small piece of advice or news, or complimenting someone. Whether it is a long-term relationship or someone I have just met, the thought, “What can I do for him/her?” ensures that love is always a part of me. 

I had kept a cleaning napkin along with some incense sticks in a drawer. By the next day, it was smelling beautiful. Just by being in the presence of the incense sticks, it was infused with their fragrance. And so, it is with love and it is a fragrance. Just by choosing loving thoughts, it has become an integral part of me. 

The second:

I always imagine a more beautiful past or future if the present is not what I expected. Life being what it is, it does throw all its travellers on unknown, rocky paths. While the action part of me remains grounded in the present, in tough times, I keep envisioning a better past or future and, somehow, that keeps in my life intact. For example, if a relationship is not what it used to be, while working on it, I keep visualising how beautiful it used to be and can be. Thus, rather than being bogged down, I always remain happy and hopeful.

The third: I always see the good in a person or a situation. We meet various co-passengers in life; some stun us with their beauty, others stump us with their ugliness. And yet, if we look closely, even the toughest of people we meet have some beauty. Seeking the good in each person ensures I remain a lover.

Seeking the good in each situation ensures that my love language for life keeps flowing. Wishing you more love in your life too.