The price of happiness
Journey
The price of happiness
Shivi Verma believes that in matters of the heart, toeing the line could end in disaster. You could stub your toes badly!
A friend of mine was trying hard to get married. He was 43, never married and was in a hurry to settle down as he felt he didn’t have much time left.
All his past affairs had ended in break-ups, and he was betting on arranged marriage to find a suitable partner.
Although he was in a relationship with a woman he loved and admired, he had decided not to put a ring to it, simply because he feared that it would meet the same fate as the rest, since they came from different communities.
It was evident that he didn’t want to ruffle any feathers and wanted to take the easy route which would keep everyone happy, including himself.
He did finally manage to find a match and get married. The girl came from his community and region, spoke the same language, shared the same culture, and was educated and self-employed—she ticked all the boxes. As far as love was concerned, he was pretty sure that it would happen with time. I was amazed at his ability to use his mind in matters of the heart and discard his feelings for someone he truly loved. Just because he did not wish to court any trouble!
However, four months after the marriage, I came to know that it had fallen apart. The girl had packed her bags and left because she could not connect with him emotionally, mentally, or physically.
My friend’s efforts to reconcile with her failed as she refused to come to the negotiation table, and now he is faced with an impending divorce. He tried going back to his ex, but it was too late: she had moved on.
Shocked at the outcome, I wondered why things went south in his case. It dawned upon me that although a refined and evolved being from within, who loved truth, and spirituality, he found it daunting to listen to the voice of his soul, which ached for growth and expansion. (According to him, he had never met someone like his former girlfriend who was genuine, caring, and deeply spiritual.) Listening to his heart and soul (i.e., marrying her) would have forced him to make some tough choices—upset family members and face ostracism and shaming from his community—all of which he was not willing to go through. He used his mind to suppress the call of his soul and go for something which got him the approval of his people. He did not place any premium on love. Sadly, things didn’t work out for him, and now he is back to square one.
Pondering over this incident, I realised that freedom, joy, and happiness are all the attributes of the soul, but most people find them elusive because they come at a price. And the price is listening to the voice of truth within you and taking suitable action.
The world’s design is inimical to the soul’s yearning; each time you take a step in your soul’s favour, you meet with resistance and hostility. Only those who have the courage to stand by the truth, get to taste the ambrosial nectar of bliss, freedom, and happiness. Secondly, I also realised that love cannot be taken for granted when it comes into one’s life. It’s a gift from the Divine, and if you discard it out of ignorance, you might have to repent later on.
I have lived my life on this principle and was able to break many stereotypes, simply because I did not care what the world thought of me, as long as my soul was in consonance with my actions. Undoubtedly, the journey has been extremely rewarding.