The purpose of my life
Vidya Sanjay is exhilarated by the revelation that the here and NOW is our destination. There’s no other destination to reach.
So, many times I have asked myself – “What’s the purpose of my life?” This question has made me happy and unhappy, feel proud as well as lost, left me inadequate and longing, question everything I did, waiting for some epiphany or miracle to happen, through which my purpose would be revealed to me. Every time, someone told me “I have found my passion” or “This is my swadharma,” I felt like the unlucky one who is yet to discover the real purpose of his life.
I longed for someone, something, a higher force, to reveal to me what I was supposed to be doing on this Planet Earth. My theories on karma and the karmic cycles intensified my search for answers to this question that I held very dear to my heart—“What’s the purpose of my life?” So many times, I was dramatic enough to visualise the skies opening and from above, amidst the clouds, a voice revealing the purpose of my life.
I waited for some sort of destination that was uniquely mine to claim. I wanted to leave my footprints in the sands of time. “But, am I walking in the right direction?” “Am I doing what I am supposed to do?” “Is this journey leading me to my karmic fulfilment?” My mind filled up with these questions, for which I found no answers.
For about nine years, I lived every day with this lingering question—“What’s the purpose of my life?” Some days, I ignored it, while other days led to the longing being loud enough to search for answers. Some days, I felt happy thinking that at least I want to dedicate my life to a purpose, while other days were frustrating, and so on. No scripture, no discourse I went to, gave me answers, or should I say that I was not ready; hence, nothing seemed like my answer. Meanwhile, my life continued.
Three years ago, in one of the ‘infinipaths,’ a remark—“I know my path but don’t know my destination”—during the sharing session, lead to my Beloved Mahatria clarifying with “Where you are NOW is your destination. There is no other destination to reach.” Somehow, that day, it made sense to me. It hit me very hard. It was the answer I was looking for. This was what I had been waiting to hear for so long.
I had been wandering, waiting for a so-called perfect destination or purpose, with which I would begin serving humanity. For the first time, I felt like the lost kid who got her parents back. I experienced instant peace. I was awakened—it was my Buddha moment. It just flowed through me, and I was a mere witness to the revelations that happened.
At the right place and time
The true essence of life is that you are exactly where you need to be. Every decision of yours, every move of yours, every calculation, adjustment, the compromises, the experiences, somehow lead to where you need to be at this moment.
Everything that you need, to live this moment of life, is already given to you. It’s all within you. So, the only true and sole purpose of life is to discover thyself. There is no other great mystery to solve. We are the greatest mystery created by God, and it takes a lifetime to discover thyself.
As I journey through life, I discover myself playing various roles, wearing multiple hats: a parent, a lover, a writer, a software professional, a child, a volunteer, at times a coach, and it goes on. Various circumstances, people, places, laws, and experiences reveal me to me.
Having dropped all my questions, nothing remained. My daily prayer changed to “Make me useful today and every day of my life.” I live my life out of faith and peace, striving to be the BEST ME, knowing I am where I need to be, and this journey of self-discovery will continue.
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