April 2023
Toxic relationships also have their place in our life, says Shivi Verma. They test our mettle, helping us tread the spiritual path resiliently with newfound insights
Humans need relationships
to survive. But their capacity to give us joy is directly proportional to the amount of pain they can cause us. And no matter how loving and sincere you are in your relationships, there is no guarantee that the other will reciprocate in equal measure. Often, the one you have deeply trusted will hurt you badly, and the one you have mostly ignored will stand up for you in your hour of need.
Ironically, those who run away from relationships due to the above mentioned reasons, hoping to find their haven of peace in aloneness, often find themselves craving the presence of people in their lives.Yet no matter how hard you try, there can never be a perfectly harmonious relationship between two or more people. There shall always be elements that irk, annoy, or create a void in your heart with regard to the other person in your life. However, the same relationships also become the barometer by which you can mark your spiritual growth.
Humans attach themselves to the object of their affection. This proclivity makes them lean on the other and generates a lot of expectations. We expect to be treated equally, lovingly, and
respectfully by those we are in a relationship with. This isn’t to say that our expectations are wrong. We do deserve reciprocity, but the universal grid is designed to liberate us and make us independent; not entrench us further in maya where others have the remote control of our happiness. People who get cheated in relationships (be they friendly, filial, romantic, or marital) begin to question themselves. Help is sought from therapists, and spiritual gurus to find out why they have been let down by people they had invested so much in. This search leads them to excavate deeply stored beliefs around abandonment, guilt, not being deserving of love, and the fear of being alone. This also makes them aware of their karmic debts, stored anger, negative self-talk and world view, weak boundaries, and the need for external validation.The healing work undertaken by them to resolve these issues releases them from the grip of energies that attract toxic people in their lives. They start hoping that now that they are vibrating higher, they can draw in the best and most reliable people in their life. However, it may not happen all the time.
You may still find yourself amidst negative people. Now if you are
wondering why these people are still in your life, the answer is this: to test how much you have grown through all the spiritual work you have done. If you can stand your ground, and not trade your boundaries for love and acceptance, not only will you get to enjoy the bliss of detachment which one gets only through divine grace, but you will also be helping the other person come to their senses. Bad behaviour continues only if you enable it. Your spiritual growth is not meant to help you alone but to also help others to grow. This happens to make you realise that the most reliable connection you have is with your Higher Self. No matter how chaotic your circumstances are, if you are rooted in your Self, nobody can snatch your happiness away. If positive and fulfilling relationships come into your life, you know how to value and respect them, and if they don’t, you know how to enjoy your own company and not compromise your self-respect for a few breadcrumbs of appreciation and affection.
Editor of Life Positive, Shivi Verma is a devotee who found all her answers in loving God passionately.
We welcome your comments and suggestions on this article. Mail us at editor@lifepositive.net
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