The responsibility is yours
October 2010
By Megha Bajaj
Try taking responsibility for your life, and see how things work out in your favour
It is my responsibility. The secret to success is that simple. A recent passion of mine was to understand what makes a legend, a legend. How are these special few able to become such inspirations, while the majority lead lives which appear ordinary at best, and a chore at worst.
Finally, I know. A single-line philosophy can change everything around: ‘If it is in my life, it is my responsibility.’ The man thrown on the railway platform could have blamed the officer or cried at his bad luck, but he did not. Instead, he took responsibility for what happened to him. The result? An ordinary barrister emerged as the Father of the Nation.
She could have wept, and questioned God for creating the extreme poverty outside her school, but she did not. Instead, she took responsibility for what she saw. The result? Years after she passed away, Mother Teresa’s Missionaries of Charity feed millions of people each day. Too often, I have given in to the temptation of blaming others for what was going wrong in my life. Last year, my husband had too many financial responsibilities, and we were unable to go on holidays or buy things we needed. Somewhere, I began to resent him. However, once this sentence, ‘If it is in my life, it’s my responsibility,’ came into my life, I realised that if I wanted certain luxuries, I should be able to fund them. This simple shift enabled me to begin a lucrative project, which is also deeply enriching.
When I wasn’t busy blaming others, I was lost in the bottomless well of self-pity. I believed God himself was against me. Why else would he put me through all this – my mom being diagnosed with cancer, our house coming under litigation, or my health nosediving to the extent that even waking up seemed tough.
Today, I realise that the tough times didn’t last, but the invaluable lessons they taught me, did. No experience was unnecessary. Although I did not have the wisdom then, I now know, ‘If it’s in my life, it is my responsibility.’ I no longer shun my life, or the responsibilities that come along with it. The result? I feel like I am living a dream. I don’t leave things to chance or to another person, until I have fulfilled my part of the deal. If my health is not fine, I take control. If my relationship with a friend is not as intimate as I want it to be, instead of waiting for her to call, I take responsibility. Expectations from others or life has, at least to a small extent, turned into expectations from self. The best part about this is, the moment I stopped expecting another to give me happiness, love, or financial security, and decided it was my responsibility and worked towards it, life turned the cards in my favour. From the smallest of issues, like the coffee not being to my liking, to the larger ones like dealing with health issues, or struggling with marriage, I will do my best and only then, will life do the rest. Let us not turn the equation around and spend our lives in agonised waiting.