By Megha Bajaj
I had always believed that life would happen in the future… after I had achieved ‘something’. However, that something could only be found in the now, says Megha Bajaj
|Megha is, above all, a seeker. These days she is attempting to find herself in the role of a teacher through the online writing course designed by her. You can know more about her on |
When I was in school, I believed life was something that happened in college. Seeing all those cool youngsters ‘hang out’, ‘eat out’ and ‘drive away’, I restlessly put my chin upon my hands, looked out of the window and sighed. I wanted to feel alive. I wanted to grow up. Fast.
College did happen. And yes, it was fun. Yet, my search for life had shifted. Seeing people work – do jobs of their choice, earn money and freedom that comes along with it, thrilled me. I wanted to feel alive. I wanted to work Fast.
Writing and teaching became my profession and passion. I loved what I did. My days were fun, until I suddenly began to observe beautiful couples around me. Shy smiles, missed heart-beats. Looking at, and then looking away. Ah, the joys of being in love. Life brought Arun to me – not a knight in shining armor, but an engineer with sparkling eyes and I happily whispered, “I do.”
Marriage turned out to be all those things that marriage is supposed to be. Togetherness, arguments, wondering, hopes and all the things in between. However, after a while, I began to feel mounting dissatisfaction again. I wanted to make it big – for myself, for others… perhaps that would make me feel alive?
I started a company that seemed like the perfect expression of me. With a lot of hard work and team efforts, it began to take off in a significant way. It was exciting. Sometimes, also nerve-wracking. One of those evenings, after a long, tiring day when there had been one challenge after another, I sat beside my window, my chin upon my hands and in despair asked God: Where is this thing called LIFE? Why do I always seem to miss it? Where is it? Show me! I want to feel alive!
|” I realized if I was not happy right now, as I was, as life was, what made me think I would be happy tomorrow?”|
Just then, the sun set. The sky blushed as it bade goodbye to its lover and its cheeks turned various different shades of pink. And there it peeped – the first little star looking curiously down at me. I smiled, despite myself. The moon smiled back – a crescent. There was a whisper within, “This is life, my child, this is life…”
This is life, my child, this is life. Nothing has transformed me more than this single sentence. Somehow I had always believed LIFE is something that would happen in the future… after I had achieved ‘something’. I was searching for something – that couldn’t be found anywhere else but NOW. I realized if I was not happy right now, as I was, as life was, what made me think I would be happy tomorrow? If my family, my friends, my team – right now, did not make me happy – which new relationship was I hoping to add that would shift everything? If Rs 50,000 a month was not making one happy – who is to say that Rs five million would?
These days whether I am faced with challenging situations, or I am in the middle of a celebration, the whisper again makes itself heard: “This is life, my child, this is life.” Sometimes high, sometimes low, sometimes wow, sometimes so-so, and it goes on. All the various phases are interwoven in the tapestry of life and all I can do, really, is just live them. Life won’t ‘happen’, it’s ‘happening’. After all, we don’t want to sit under a crescent moon, frail and aged, and wonder, when life passed by… let’s live it.
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