Towards the sun
Towards the SUN
Combat the default state of the mind that resists what does not work and ignores what works, by turning your sights only to the positive, says Suma Varughese
I am convinced that focussing on what works is one of the master keys to opening the doors to happiness, self-transformation, success, and harmonious relationships. Helen Keller put it more poetically when she advised, “Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadows. It’s what the sunflowers do.” In other words, count your blessings and ignore the handicaps. Embrace the job you love, the happy family, and your fully paid-up flat or house. And firmly turn your back to the depleted bank balance, the investment that turned turtle, and the lost friendship with your college friend.
The reason why life is so hard is that the default state of the mind is to ignore all that works and to crib mightily about all that does not. This ensures that we are perennially in a state of resistance, and our capacity for happiness is shortchanged. A promotion, getting great marks in the Boards, or falling in love, may give us a high, but like air out of a punctured tyre, the happiness leaks away by focussing on the barrage of things that don’t work. For most of us, life can seem like climbing up a slippery slope that sends you sliding back no matter how valiantly you strive. This is when we can benefit from the merit of focussing on what works. I frankly tell you that this is not easy to do. The mind is going to continue its perennial resistance and protest. But persist, and you will find yourself wonderfully rewarded. Start with the practice of writing a gratitude journal every day.
As you focus on all the good things the day has held for you, no matter how tiny, you will start noticing them more, and to that extent, your negativity will seep out of you. Now cultivate the habit of looking at everything with this perspective. Look for health, not illness in your body. Look for strengths, not weaknesses in your character. Look at the successes and not the failures in your life. Acknowledge them wholeheartedly and express gratitude towards your body, yourself, and God.
Over time, this will recalibrate your relationship with yourself, and amp up your confidence and self-esteem. Do the same with others. Instead of focussing on their faults and shortcomings, practise keeping your sights firmly on their strengths. Use the same logic when you need to correct someone. Instead of highlighting what they have done wrong, can you point towards areas of improvement? Not only will their self-esteem remain intact, but so too will your relationship with them.
Some sections of the corporate world use a programme called Appreciative Inquiry when they need to resolve flagging employee morale or performance. Instead of looking at what is wrong with the employees or at their failures, Appreciative Inquiry facilitators choose to highlight their strengths and capabilities. Instead of being shamed or critiqued, employees are encouraged to use their strengths to boost their performance. Appreciative Inquiry validates and empowers the employee and strengthens the employee-employer bond.
Focussing on what works is based on the spiritual truth that, at our core, we are part of the Divine— whole, perfect, and complete. It is the conditioning that we undergo over lifetimes that creates negative and limiting belief systems, a spectrum of afflictive emotions (as the Buddhists call it), and powerful desires and aversions that sabotage our happiness. By steadfastly looking at the positive, we amplify our true nature and dilute the conditioning. Ergo, more happiness and freedom.
Suma Varughese is a teacher of words and wisdom. She broadcasts spiritual truths and a love for writing in her various capacities as columnist, writer, writing coach, and the founder-facilitator of the popular Zen of Good Writing Course. She is the former editor of Life Positive and Society magazines. She has authored Travelling Light, Travelling Lighter, and 50 Life Lessons. She can be contacted at sumavarughese@gmail.com
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