Unconditional love In the eye of a child
June 2015
Children are God’s gift to us. They are priceless treasures who are gifted to us by God. Their energy is high and it’s infectious too. They are always filled with love and so much of joy, that whosoever comes in contact with their aura, they feel the joy swelling in their hearts too. The kids are naughty and mischievous. Unlike adults, who have lost their ability to be in the present moment, children know how to be in the present moment. It is only this precious moment they know of. They are neither worried about the past nor are they thinking of their future. They also express their displeasure with all ease by throwing up temper tantrums which pushes all kinds of buttons in the parents who have forgotten to be in the present moment.
CHILDREN ARE CHILDREN. THEY ARE INNOCENT AND EQUAL TO GOD. We have often heard the above statement from many elderly people. But how much of it is that we learn from children to remain in the present? How much of displeasure do we express? How much of our emotions are we suppressing? Or How expressive are we about our likes and dislikes with other fellow human beings? How many people do we try to please in a day? How do children learn to LOVE? How do they know when to reciprocate and how to love? Are we teaching them RIGHT? Or Are we wrong somewhere?
SO MANY QUESTIONS????
1. How did I get them in the first place?
2. Who taught me about unconditional love that children exhibit?
3. Are you all guessing that I will say that It’s my Master who taught me about it?
Well, you are all partly correct. I was allowed to learn about it from my son by my Divine Master.
As a mother I always felt that I loved my child unconditionally and more than anything else in this world. But my divine master out of his infinite compassion has made me realize today that a child’s love for his mother is UNCONDITIONAL rather than the other way round.
It was a cool summer morning, bright and sunny, a perfect day for an outing though we could not plan for one. It began on a very good note at home with a sweet kiss from my dear son. However it was a bad day at work. As soon as I reached the work place, I had to face an angry head of the department. Oh!! Don’t mistake me, I hadn’t done any mistake. It was her foul mood and an angry tone while speaking to me when it was not required. I was not aware of the Life’s exam patterns. I think most of you will agree with me on this aspect. Life gives us exams and then teaches us unlike our regular exams where we are taught first and then given exams.
Let me give you all a brief background of that days happening. Our M.B.B.S students were having exams. We were conducting internal assessment for I M.B.B.S. students. I went and asked our H.O.D as to what time should we go to exam hall. Well, what kind of a response will you give if you were an H.O.D. Ah.. Right, each one of you as H.O.D, would have said lets go at such a time. Well what did I face? It was such an unexpected answer and very painful to hear tooo…I heard the H.O.D barking into my ears the next moment and saying we will see, the coordinators will tell you like as if get lost from here types. I felt taken aback as it is the H.O.D who will decide on such matters. I went to the staff room and asked the coordinators as to what time should we go to exam hall. They also did not have any idea. This was just one episode which I faced with that H.O.D, but there were other episodes which my colleagues also had faced in the past few days since the new H.O.D was appointed. The H.O.D was treating all junior staff members like her slaves. It was creating lots of stress for all of us as we were feeling very much unwanted in that place. Each time we wanted a leave for half a day or an hour’s permission from workplace, we had to beg her to give it.
The stress at workplace and constant demand of attention from my son had left me completely drained out of energy. I had become very irritable at home. The target of my irritability and expression of anger was on my poor little child who did not know what I was going through at work place. It was his summer holidays and I was asked not to take leave in the department as there would be an MCI inspection. He was constantly seeking my attention and I was unable to give it fully. As his holidays were coming to an end, I kept telling my son to revise his tables and write and learn kannada grammar. Well you all know about children, they love to play, watch TV, go around the colony in a bicycle, talk to people etc.., Same was with my son too. Except writing he was doing all other things.
Angered and drained out of energy both physically and mentally, I shouted at my son for not doing his homework. In a fit of anger I treated my son very badly. The anger against our H.O.D was being unleashed on my little son. I could not control my emotions. After scolding him and beating him, I felt even more miserable because I had failed once more in expressing my emotions in the right way. I had also failed to remain in the moment. I had failed once more in the exam of life. But Life wanted me to learn in another way. Things did not stop here. As I was feeling guilty and resting in my room and reviewing about what I did, My son came back to me with his homework fully completed. He kissed me and told me sorry. I appreciated him wholeheartedly, kissed him and gave him a bear hug. At the same time I cried too for having behaved in such an unruly way. Despite me behaving in a bad way, my son forgave me immediately and still loved me the same way as before. This made me learn the most important life lesson – UNCONDITIONAL LOVE from my loving son YADU. It also helped me to learn some more things such as not to unload your garbage on others. I have only answered a few questions as to who thought me about unconditional love and how I got to learn it through a fulfilling experience.
The other questions such as – How much of displeasure do we express? How much of our emotions are we suppressing? Or How expressive are we about our likes and dislikes with other fellow human beings? How many people do we try to please in a day?
If we honestly think, Very few of us are assertive and express our displeasure in the right way with the people concerned. Most of us are trying to unload our unwanted garbage on our children. We are all trying to please our bosses, please our parents, please all the authority figures in life except us. It is unhealthy for children as they also will end up like us not knowing how and when to express the emotions in a right way. We have to be Conscious Parents if we want loving children to grow up into Lovable adults. Having read the book THE CONSCIOUS PARENT by Dr.Shefali Tsabary, I thought I was a conscious parent but as mentioned by the author itself we can fail many a times before we really become conscious parents. So I forgive myself for what I did unconsciously and keep my mind open to learn from every experience. Sending you all UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
Dr.Kusuma K S; M.D.Biochemistry
Assistant Professor, MSRMC, Bangalore
More about me:
I am a passionate teacher and learner. I love to be with kiddos like a kiddo.