What you see is what you get
What you see is what you get
Megha Bajaj feels that being true to yourself is the best way to live as there’s no conflict or disparity
I believe each one of us has certain traits that make us so uniquely ourselves. Of these, there are always one or two dominant ones, which pretty much define who we are. For me, it is the striving to always remain ‘split-free’ and be as authentic—as ME—as I can in each moment.
People who know me very closely will have their fair share of joys and grievances to speak about me. But there’s one thing, I believe, they will unanimously agree on: with me, one doesn’t have to think “Does she mean what she is saying?” “Is what she is saying and doing in congruence?” I love the whole, integrated ‘split-free’ me; it’s the most relaxed and beautiful version of me. I cherish it.
This trait has earned me some of the most precious relationships in my life. People who appreciate genuineness are drawn to me, and I, to them. However, this trait has also been a bone of contention for a few. Some feel, “Can you not say it in a way which is more palatable to the other?” I know there have been times I may even have come across as a bit too blunt or even bordering on rude.
I want to constantly improve myself. In fact, I constantly observe my words and ensure that I keep improving my choice of vocabulary, so that whatever I must convey is done in the most respectful way. I try putting myself in the other’s shoes and say things the way it will have better impact. But, through it all, I don’t compromise on that which matters the most to me—my authentic and true self. ’
In the Aamir Khan movie, 3 Idiots, I love the way Raju Rastogi (Sharman Joshi), who is shown to be a very God-people-exam-fearing person, undergo a transformation after his hospital stint and stand up for himself in an interview and tell the faculty, “It has taken me so much to become who I am. Now, just for your job, I am not willing to compromise on that. You keep your job, I will keep my attitude!”
There will always be people who will disapprove. There will always be those looks of, “How could you . . .”
There will always be people who question everything you think, feel, say, or do.
However, we know how long it has taken us to become the sum total that we are. Why should we keep altering it to fit the other’s definition of who we are? And how many definitions will we meet? If X likes blue on you, Y will like pink. If X says you are a bit too soft, Y will say you are a bit too harsh. At some point, we will have to look within and ask ourselves who we are—what we like, what we stand for, what our vision for life is—and go by that.
Each time I have not been true to myself, ‘myself’ doesn’t like it. It lets me know through whispers and nudges, “You wanted to say this but you said that —just to please.” “You wanted to do this but you did that under social pressure.” It feels lied to. And cheated. Much as I want to love the world, there is one person in my closest proximity that I need to learn to love the most—me! And the only way I can do that is by staying true to myself.
Given the complex lives we lead, it’s not always possible to be completely ourselves. We all do a little editing, a little fitting in. But the norm should be to flow with who we are.
I am so in love with the ancient Jewish quote that says, “When you die, God won’t ask why you didn’t live as a messiah; but He will certainly ask why you didn’t live as you?”
One life. One chance. As us. Let’s live it!