Coping with grief
There is an old Hindi song that says “people are always there in times of happiness. True friends are those that are there in times of sadness too. This is something we all should remember.
There is something about grief that is hard to fathom, therefore making it hard to reach out to those who need help. This is why many grieving people feel isolated and alone. With this comes depression leading to even suicidal thoughts in extreme cases. This is something that can surely be averted with well-wishers who reach out to them.
We may say we don’t have time. However, surely helping people in times of grief is more important than any important project or material requirement. This surely requires an intent of trying to bea better person. A task that is bound to make us feel better, too. The most important thing to remember here is that each person is different and so are their coping mechanisms . Even before taking the first step, we must try to know the person’s nature and tendencies. That would definitely help us play a better role in helping them.
Helping people cope with grief requires patience, empathy, and a willingness to support them in their unique journey. We could
1. Be Present & Listen Without Judgment
Listen more, talk less.
People just wish to express their feelings openly without worrying about judgement, We should therefore just listen and allow them to express all their feelings without holding anything back while we just listen quietly. We could touch them to express solidarity.
2. Offer Practical Support
Grieving people often struggle with daily tasks. Offer specific help:
"Can I bring you dinner tomorrow?"
"Do you need help with errands or childcare?"
3. Encourage Self-Care (Without Pressure)
Gently remind them to eat, sleep, and hydrate.
Suggest light activities like a short walk, but don’t push if they’re not ready.
4. Respect Their Grieving Process
Everyone grieves differently—some may cry openly, others may seem withdrawn.
Avoid timelines like "You should be over this by now." Grief has no expiration date.
5. Help Them Honor Their Loved One
Encourage them to share memories (if they want to).
Suggest journaling or creating an album of their loved ones
Helping others in their name like a scholarship for the underprivileged could also help in directing their energy to a proper way.
6. Watch for Signs of Complicated Grief
If someone is unable to function for an extended time, expresses suicidal thoughts, or turns to substance abuse, gently suggest professional help (therapist, support group).
7. Stay Connected Long-Term
Grief doesn’t end after the funeral. Check in weeks and months later—"I’ve been thinking about you. How are you feeling today?"
This is something which many people hesitate to do but knowing it is necessary, we all must do it as this is what friends and family are there for. We must give them all the support they need at this hour.
By Jamuna Rangachari
