Replace the green eyed monster with joy
Most friendships sour when the green eyed monster of jealousy enters in the relationship. Let us strive to keep it away and replace it with joy.
I remember the time I was working in the field and handling two children at home. Many so called friends became envious and hence the discussions became soured by jealousy.
The usual conversation would be that of how lucky I was while they had to sacrifice their career for their kids. They did not understand it was a great challenge so we avoided each other. They would just walk away from me and I started feeling a bit lonely. Fortunately, this changed soon.
“Maam, you can leave your children with me anytime if you are going to be late at work”, said one young lady who had seen me coming home late quite often with my children waiting for me. The maid would then sulk and I would apologise. It became a common pattern. As she lived nearby, she could see this and hence, reached out. Her friendship is something I value till today as one of the most genuine ones. For, she remained joyous when something good took place in our lives. This is the time I realised how important it is to retain joy as the primary emotion in all relationships. She was a person who was happy with everyone’s joy while lending a helping hand to them when they needed it.
This experience also taught me how to be helpful too and I started giving her many tips in managing her home, child and life in general.
I also understood that the others were envious of me as they wanted to have what I had without understanding the challenges that I faced. In the naval community that my husband served earlier, careers of women were not common as they had to move too. When I understood them, I suggested certain things they could do so they became comfortable too with me so the entire relationship and equation changed. Earlier, I also did not understand their limitations so we could not move ahead.
We act negatively if we ourselves are not happy. This is the root of problems in all relationships, especially friendship. Everywhere, we need to take time to regain our joy and peace. This does not happen automatically. We need to work on it in the school of life where friendship is the greatest lesson of all. This is possible by understanding each other and then moving forward together. It is worth it for this then becomes a strong bond of friendship that is bound to make us happy and joyous. This is what friendship is all about anyway. So, we need to definitely through away the green eyed monster that is poisonous to all friendships
Essentially, understanding and helping is the only way we can remain joyous, peaceful and impart that to others too in our path of friendship in the journey of our lives.
By Jamuna Rangachari