From cancer to hope

Cancer survivors cope with their diagnosis, treatment, and life with or after cancer in different ways. No two cancer patients are alike, and neither are their challenges, treatment journeys. Each patient's journey, though, has some common traits : strength,strategies, and a sense of hope in the battle against cancer.

I live with my family and caring husband in Jabalpur MP. I am a survivor of breast cancer. My story began in August 2012, when I felt a lump in my breast while I was meditating in the morning, till then  I was leading a normal life with my daughters aged 5 and 8 years old. I had no family record of breast cancer, I thought I was a healthy person leading an active life.

 I never imagined that I would be diagnosed with breast cancer.

On the Independence Day of 2012, my family and I went to Dumna resort and Samdariya mall attended a musical concert, and visited a restaurant. It was a great evening. The next morning I experienced swelling and found a lump in my left breast. I forgot about it at that time owing to the fun of the evening before and the excitement of the day. I felt it again a few days later. I consulted my Gynecologist Dr. Rekha James and had a Sonography and FNAC the following day.

After the two  FNAC, I tested positive and for cancer. I was advised to get a Mammogram. I could not comprehend that I might have cancer, I could hardly think of the words. .I was shocked. It felt as if my world had turned upside down. I whispered, "My daughters are so young, this cannot happen to me". I was not aware of breast cancer till then, I thought that it mostly happened to older women.

With everyone whom I shared the reports, I bravely said "Don't worry, I'll be alright'', but I had no idea what was going to happen.

After the initial fright, fear started to set in. If I lost my life to cancer, which I believed could happen, it would affect lots of people around me, I would leave my family behind, my daughters too.

My mammography reports were not normal. My situation was something I had only seen in the movies. But it was real and it was happening to me. How would I tell my family ? How would I tell my husband who had just arrived back home the day before, assisting my brother-in-law who was facing chemotherapy for colon cancer. What would I tell my children ? They are too young. How would I tell my parents and sisters,  they were already worried about my brother-in-law ? I could not believe my life had radically changed in such a short time.

I remembered going to the doctor when I had pain and swelling in my left breast. Twice I went to the surgeon and was misdiagnosed. I would have to travel out of the station for all my treatment, my husband had to continue with his job. Who would look after my daughters? There is so much for women living in small towns to think about at such a crucial time. I had no known family history, worked out at least 6 days a week, and had a healthy lifestyle.

I was diagnosed with Stage Ill  of breast cancer, which means that cancer has spread outside of the immediate region of the tumor and may have invaded neighboring lymph nodes  but has not spread to other organs. Although this stage is said  to be advanced, there are a growing number of required treatment options. My husband and I cried like children in front of Dr. Reena Engineer, as mentally I was not prepared at all to face this life threatening disease. I was surprised when my Oncologist informed me that I was ignoring all the warning signs of breast cancer.

I went through 5 rounds of chemotherapy, just to reduce the size of the lumps. On January 11, 2013, my surgery date had been decided under the dynamic and vast experience of Dr. Badwe and his team. Dr. R. I had Breast Conservation Therapy since I was in an advanced stage of Cancer with strong ER/PR positive (Estrogen and Progesterone Receptor). They removed both of my ovaries, 14 positive nodes from Axila, 1 Supraclavicular nodes.

Three days after the surgery my periods had stopped , it was a premature menopause, an extremely traumatic event for me. While facing the third chemotherapy I lost all my hair, I was afraid of how my children would react. As the hair loss progressed it was very difficult to accept the way I looked. It only took a month for all my hair fall , and I started wearing a scarf to cover my head. At home, Soumya, my six-year-old daughter asked to see under the scarf and when I removed it she said "Oh Mumma, you are now my new mamma, " Children are very innocent. My friend gave me a wig but I didn't feel comfortable wearing it so I never used it.

The Surgery was successful I did not have any complications. I had a near-death experience when I was in ICU, I was in a terrible state of agony and was not at all in a position to recognize anyone. The surgery was followed by twelve cycles of chemotherapy weekly. Then it was followed by a total of 31 radiations daily. I was given Tamoxifen daily as I have Estrogen and progesterone receptors positive to reduce the risk of recurrence.

I found it hard to recover from surgery.  But I was positive that I would overcome. I had to win this long painful battle! I have been an enthusiastic member of my spiritual group since the day of my diagnosis. The prayer group has literally carried me through this by allowing me to struggle with dignity, grace, and faith. It allows me to share my thoughts and shed my tears.The responses I get fuel my fire to win.

I am thankful to Dr. R. A. Badwe, Director, TMC & Head of Surgical Oncology & Chief of Breast Unit, Dr. Reena Engineer, Senior Radiation Oncologist, TMH, and Dr. Ashish Gupta, Medical Oncologist and their team for their support and positive response, I am indebted to them. On July 2, 2013, I finally had my last radiation.

As a young woman, the shock of breast cancer was devastating, for me.The biggest concern was fertility, and that I would not have  more children. However, the positive side was  new found appreciation of myself. I am very proud of myself for going through such a dark phase of my life. My parents and family were outstanding, and to be acquainted with the fact that you have so much love around you is very curing. I feel I have emerged stronger.

I try to live each day to the fullest, doing things I love the most wholeheartedly and am most passionate about, because after all. . . today is mine to cherish and live.

Till date she has underwent 4 surgeries, 17 chemotherapies, 31 radiations. For ten years after her treatment she was on hormone therapy and needed years six monthly follow ups. 

Now that almost twelve years have passed she's not only recurrence free but 100% cancer free 

After completing the treatment  written about the journey of her recovery and her successful strategies. She is the member of voluntary cancer support group. Her book has been reviewed by many reputed oncologists & is available in cancer hospitals to help cancer patients , donated  books to many cancer hospitals ,nursing and medical institutes. She provides counselling free of cost for needy cancer patients. 

 My books are a Beacon of Light  ( प्रकाश का स्तम्भ) which inspire cancer patients, their families & people to face the disease with courage & hope. This book is about her approach in dealing with the disease that can be helpful for anyone. This is designed to be used, not just read.

Presently associated with a reputed cancer hospital. I am a teacher at Art of Living .