Trust in Relationships – Uncovering the Fundamental Truth

Human beings by their natural instincts lack trust. The natural instincts of survival and protection. The human brains’ fight or flight response prepares us for all plausible danger. The reference of this danger in today’s time refers not just to physical danger, but emotional danger as well. We fear betrayal. Trust in relationships – all kinds of human relationships, are built over a period of time. This period of time differs from person to person. It is primarily based on their past experiences, mental impressions, and the habitual nature of the mind to presume the worst-case scenario.

How does one build trust in relationships?

The most important step to build trust in relationships is to build trust in yourself. Because we project onto others what we feel about ourselves.

Imagine a time when you were having a bad day. Everyone you meet may seem to irritate you or bring out the worst in you. Not because they really were, but simply because the state of our minds convinced us to believe so. If we were put in the exact same scenario on a day when we were at our best, then everyone would seem to be perfect just the way they were.

Our minds play a very important role in our interactions with people. Therefore, it is imperative to train the mind to first trust in yourself, only then can we work out on how to build trust in relationships with other people.

What does trusting yourself have to do with building trust in relationships?

The key is to develop emotional independence. Our need for support, love, and companionship leads us to heavily depend on our loved ones. And then this dependency invariably leads to insecurity and moments of weakness during challenging times.

When all is ‘hunky-dory’, it is easy to flaunt the best version of ourselves. But, the real test is when things don’t quite seem to work the way we imagined it would. Our emotional independence plays an important role here.

If we develop a strong connection with our loved ones, it is easy to be emotionally independent and strong no matter what the circumstances may be. However, if we are only heavily attached and dependent on them, then our trust in relationships is put to test during trying times. 

We fail miserably if we do not trust ourselves to be happy, stable, and strong at all times. This inability in turn breaks the trust in relationships we form with other people.

How does one work on cultivating emotional independence?

Live a life free of expectations. Our expectations lead us to disappointment. Disappointment leads to emotional instability. This emotional instability then creates havoc on our minds and thus leads us to faulty imagination and thinking. This faulty imagination is the root cause of destroying trust in relationships.

Hence the rules are quite simple contrary to the statement that ‘human relationships are complicated’. They are actually not. Expectations lead to complications.

A weak mind creates unnecessary expectations and desires. This is because it is lured by sensory pleasures. A strong and stable mind leads to emotional stability and independence.

Be happy no matter what. And how does one be happy? Live a life free of expectations. If the reason for your happiness is dependent on external factors you have paved the path for disaster.

How does emotional independence help with building trust in relationships?

One can never truly be content if we are dominated by our expectations. The key is to work on yourself. Build trust in yourself first. A trust that no matter what happens, our mental peace and happiness will not be destroyed. We will continue to live our lives taking each moment as it comes. These are the traits of an emotionally independent person.

An emotionally independent person is automatically very attractive as they demonstrate confidence and exuberance. These qualities in turn enhance the ability to mutually work on building trust in relationships. A relationship built on a strong foundation of mutual trust and respect is in turn sustainable and long-lasting.

If you still need a little more convincing, read the life positive love story for inspiration. It really does not matter what kind of relationship we have with people. Be it a romantic relationship, a friendship, or our relationships with family, form a connection, not an attachment with them.

Become a more emotionally independent person. Always at our best whether with or without them. Let relationships nurture you not destroy you. An important element for building such relationships is to look within. Fault findings will not take us anywhere. Solution seeking is the answer. The solution is always within us. If we only change our own perspective, the answers will all come to us automatically. No matter what you do, never lose your own mental peace and happiness.

About the Author

Karen Rego is a content contributor at Life Positive. She has completed her advanced teachers' training in yoga education from The Yoga Institute. A part of yoga education also includes philosophy studies that are aimed at personal development. A major part of personal development includes maintaining cordial relationships with self and others. She is also a law graduate and has previously worked in corporate law for 10 years.